It’s the greatest week of the year. This Friday, we will not step into the office. Instead, we will go to the lake, hang out with family and friends, shoot off fireworks, go to a baseball game, or BASE jump from the Statue of Liberty. If you’re a true American, you will do all of this in one day. There’s one thing that is a staple in traditional American culture: grilling. As far back as you can remember, every Fourth of July has memories of your dad standing over the grill with a beer, grilling up large amounts of meat. As we get older, that American duty is passed along to us like a rite of passage. Before you head out there with your “Kiss The Chef” apron and a Hawaiian shirt with parrots wearing American flag Hawaiian shirts, here are a few things that will make you look like the ultimate master chef.
Leave-In Meat Thermometer
There are some people who may say meat thermometers are for incompetent grill rookies. However, I would rather be accurate with what I cook instead of giving all my guests food poisoning and the runs for 24 hours, thanks to undercooked steaks. I think we can all appreciate that genuine care for our guests. There’s honestly nothing wrong with making sure you give yourself and others the best possible cooked product.
Taylor Leave-In Meat Thermometer
$17.95 | crateandbarrel.com
Stainless Steel Locking Tongs
Sometimes, quality and comfortability for long sessions matter (not a sexual innuendo). Go on and get yourself a nice pair of stainless steel tongs with a soft, padded grip. The locking tongs will most likely be the tool you use the most out of all the grill accessories you own. You can use this on practically anything you throw on the grill.
Cooks Tools Softgrip Locking Tongs
$30.00 | belk.com
Wide Stainless Steel Spatula
I tend to think people with overly large things are compensating for their low amount of confidence, wealth, or length and girth of certain appendages. When it comes to spatulas, this is not the case. A wide spatula gives you a little extra control of all those burgers you’ll cook up this summer.
Weber Style Stainless Steel Wide Turner
$19.99 | target.com
The good news is that the two-prong barbecue fork usually comes with another tool like the spatula or tongs. Besides the usual uses of the barbecue fork, such as grabbing large food like chicken breasts or releasing some juices from bratwursts, you can eat like a king with this massive fork. Don’t sue me if you accidentally stab yourself with one of the long prongs.
Thick Forge Stainless Steel BBQ Fork
$26.99 | amazon.com
Long-Handled Barbecue Basting Brush
Sometimes the best part about grilled food is what is spread on top of the meat or vegetables. The basting brush is your tool of choice for this. Because I’m cheap and don’t want to replace my basting brush after it sheds over time, I go with silicone bristles. It usually means it’s dishwasher safe, which is a plus since people who enjoy hand washing shit are terrible people.
Weber 12″ Silicone Basting Brush
$9.99 | kitchenandcompany.com
Kebabs are delicious and are a nice touch to a barbecue gathering since the kebab has become uncommon lately. Grab the Steven Raichlen Signature Skewers if you don’t want to deal with the vegetables and meat spinning and falling off the skewers. Also, these skewers look like swords, so you can’t go wrong. Give one of them to your little cousin to play around with. Seeing your Aunt Jill’s face when she sees her child playing with a deadly weapon will be a memory that we will all cherish. Am I right, guys? Guys…?
Steven Raichlen Signature Stainless Steel Skewers
$19.99 | homedepot.com
There is one item that is more important than all the other tools I’ve listed so far: the bottle opener. The bottle opener is what keeps you at the grill while you’re unselfishly making food for other people. As long as there’s someone fetching you some cold ones during your duty, nothing can go wrong.
Yeti Wall Mount Bottle Opener
$19.99 | basspro.com
Long-Handled Brass Cleaning Brush
The last tool you’ll need for your Independence Day party is not used for actual grilling. It’s for the post-grilling cleanup. The last thing a true grill owner wants is a dirty grill, and your guests also prefer a clean grill. Don’t be the guy who cooks up burgers with pieces of last week’s grilled chicken imbedded in the burger. Be proactive and spend five minutes cleaning the grates down while they’re still warm and easy to get off. A cheap cleaning brush works fine, but make sure it has a long handle. Those short-handled cleaning brushes do nothing more than leave you with heat burns on your hands.
Grill Cleaning Brush
$18.86 | williams-sonoma.com