Grad School Rant

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Grad School Rant

I’m in graduate school and I hate it, though it’s not the worst choice I’ve made for myself. Oh, no. The worst would be when I chose to get my undergrad in English Literature. My ignorance to the fact that an English degree wouldn’t get me a job is what guilt tripped me here in the first place. But alas, here I am. Making waves as an adult in big kid school, with other big kids and the like. It’s overrated, y’all.

A few of my friends have done well with their bachelor degrees, and I can’t tell you how jealous I am. They decided to study useful fields, like nursing and business. If I had the chance to do it again, I probably would’ve majored in Liberal Studies. I’d be in the same sinking boat.

I have a other friends who are making it in the real world without a bachelor’s degree. I cannot for the life of me figure out what the hell I did wrong. It’s insulting. I’m supposed to have critical thinking skills, right? So far, the only problem I’ve solved is how to stop my friend’s cat from shitting in her tub. I can do that and write haikus.

I need a new job.
I have an English degree.
I can write and stuff.

I can also do math inaccurately. So, I have a lot going for me, right? Graduate school just looks better on a résumé than “I can solve cat problems and count syllables without error most of the time.”

Graduate school will be worth it in the end, but for now, I’ll suffer through it. It’s understood that when I text my friends and ask if they want to grab drinks, I mean coffee. Literally, all the fun has been purged from my body because graduate school is so damn expensive. I can afford coffee at a diner that offers free refills. That’s about it.

I thought I’d be able to use booze as my crutch, but even that’s gone. Hand sanitizer is like a dirty mistress these days. But I’m too smart for that sort of juvenile desperation. I’m in graduate school, remember? I’ve got smarts.

In addition, I’ve had to make some sacrifices to save money; I’m borrowing someone’s Netflix account. It’s a complete nightmare when the other person watches mostly anime.

Instagram gives me culture shock every time I log on. I have to ask myself, “How long have I been gone?!” So much has changed. I mean, who the fuck is Kylie Jenner and what’s on her face?

I’ve even changed my voicemail to “Writing a paper. Try again later.” I won’t be changing it for a while. I plan on taking summer classes so I can get out of this death trap sooner rather than later. RIP summer vacation to Disney World.

There is an upside to graduate school. With my master’s, I WILL get a job. Even better, it’ll be in my career field. Take that, receptionist jobs! Not to mention, I’ll have a badass graduation party that’s sure to give me alcohol poisoning. But hey, it’ll be worth it.

Image via Shutterstock

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