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Girls With A Lot Of Guy Friends Get Laid More

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I know, the title seems like a “no duh.” I’m no John Nash, but more dudes around = more dicks around, right? Not necessarily the reason behind some recent findings discovered by Michael Pham et al from Oakland University. Apparently, women who have many guy friends or simply a higher concentration of men in their lives (be it acquaintances, coworkers or actual friends), subconsciously drive their heterosexual male partners to assert their genetic dominance via good ol’ boot knocking sessions more frequently than women without many platonic male friends. The authors nod to the idea that jealousy could play a role here, but it’s more likely men’s biological predisposition to dick swing and spray their hose wide and far, scientifically known as “sperm competition.” Since these men are seen as sexual rivals, a good boy(friend) feels the need to mount his lady and impregnate her as quickly as possible. Talk about a complex, jeez.

The kicker is that this only applies when men think their partners are particularly attractive, and especially only if the sexual rivals present in her life also perceive her to be attractive. So if your girlfriend is Josie Grossie, not sure you’re going to feel quite the need to harvest her eggs as much as that douche in the cube next to you with the hottie girlfriend.

The authors offer sperm competition as a pretty obvious evolutionary backing to the results which makes perfect sense. As I said above, they also, however, acknowledge the possibility that jealousy and satisfaction may play a role. Perhaps these nice young men are less concerned with sticking the flag in the dirt (and by flag I mean penis, and by dirt I mean vagina) and are more worried about satisfying his woman to keep his advantageous breeding partner from straying to any of the options present in her environment.

Bottom line in my opinion: this is a win-win. If you boys can keep your jealousy in check, you’ll be doing the no-pants-dance more often than other couples.

Ladies, if you curb your resting bitch face long enough to make a few man friends you don’t want to bone (and vice versa), your knight in shining armor is going to spend more time focused on pleasing you. Sure maybe they’re just trying to lay biological claim to you, but given that we’re literally all on birth control, you might just wind up with some phenomenal sessions between the sheets…or in the back of your car. Happy humping!

[via NCBI]

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Mary Swanson

Both a bitter and optimistic 24-year-old entry-level underachiever with 2-4 friends and 0 talents. Washed up is an understatement. I prefer almost all my food luke-warm, what does that say about me?

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