Drinking wine is the status quo for people in their mid-twenties. However, I found myself in my mid-twenties having spent the better part of my drinking career consuming cheap beer with hockey buddies. Ask me about different beers, and I could provide a humble opinion of why I like Budweiser over Miller and how it is completely acceptable to drink an ice cold Bud Light Lime on a sunny day in July. Yet, all I could tell you about wine is that it comes in two colors: red and white.
To be completely honest, I drank wine at least a couple times a year in my college days. My college hockey team had an annual Tour De Franzia event which involved a race to finish a box of wine and ride a bike around a pre-designed course (I’m still not over being runner-up my senior year). Aside from this event, every college party has the guy running around getting people to “slap the bag,” and I enjoyed the occasional slap. So I guess you could say I was educated in boxed wine? But, that doesn’t get you very far in the adult world.
Over the past year or so, I’ve found myself in situations where apparently it wasn’t socially acceptable to order a Bud on draft. Such as dinner with my girlfriend’s family where all I was offered is a glass of red wine, because what mid-twenty post grad doesn’t enjoy a glass of vino, right? You can’t turn down the kind gesture of an alcoholic beverage, so naturally I indulged. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t the Franzia my taste buds were accustomed to. Experiences such as this motivated me to no longer be the light beer drinking asshole at those stupid wine and cheese dinner parties.
Full disclosure, this whole transition goes a lot smoother when you are offered a glass of red wine from someone who knows a good bottle. My first time buying a bottle of red wine was the most overwhelming experience I had in a liquor since my first time using my fake ID. I just started drinking wine, so how could I know the difference between a blend, Cabernet, and Merlot? So I picked one and hoped for the best because I refused to ask for help. You might ask why I decided red wine, and the simple answer is that I subconsciously decided that white wine was for pussies. So that was that.
Side note on buying a bottle of wine: having a corkscrew is extremely important because my roommate and I resorted to just hammering a screw driver through the cork and committing to the full bottle.
This is how wine came into my life. Now, here’s my take on it: It’s a good alcoholic beverage, but never will it quench the hankering for an ice cold beer. It has its benefits, though. First, I can drink a whole bottle and feel the same as I would after 4-6 beers. Beers have more calories, so I can protect myself from the dad bod a little longer. Second, it is socially acceptable to drink a whole bottle of wine on a Monday after work, which is great. Lastly, it bridges a gap between the college lifestyle and the cube life. Do I ever fill like the pretentious wine drinking douche bag we all chirped while slamming our ice cold Keystones? Yes, I do. I justify it with some “logical” reasoning, though, such as: I’ve never bought a bottle over $20, alcohol is alcohol, and I’m not opposed to drinking my wine out of a plastic cup.
At the end of the day, as long as you can still enjoy a cheap beer with a buddy sharing old college war stories over vino and CNN, you’re still a man where it counts the most. Cheers. .
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