Let me see if I can guess your dating routine. You meet someone, maybe at the grocery store or through a mutual friend, but more likely at a bar or through a dating app. You exchange numbers, flirt a little through text, and unless anyone puts up any obvious red flags, it’s time for a grown-up date. I mean, not like, a real grown-up date like dinner, but “grabbing drinks.” You guys go out to a two-money-signs-on-Yelp joint and spend the evening having safe conversations about your lives, all while downing two to three drinks and maybe splitting some Tapas. And it’s fine. But it’s not exciting. It’s not what romantic comedies had you believe your twenties would be like. And it’s certainly not a great story to tell your children when they ask how “mommy and daddy met.”
No, you need something new. Something different, out of your comfort zone, somewhere that forces you to make a real connection.
You need to go to brunch on your first date, and here’s why.
You can choose how long the date runs.
As I previously discussed, our generation is way too ADD to actually go on a full dinner date with someone we don’t know. Are we a bunch of pansies who are scared of commitment? Perhaps, but that doesn’t mean we’re not right. The reason we love “getting drinks” as a first date is because if the person sucks, we’re not stuck with them for two hours (and a 100-dollar bill). Considering 90 percent of the first dates I’ve been on were a result of conversations I don’t remember at the bar, I don’t want to run the risk of being trapped if they turn out to be like this girl.
However, I’ve also been in situations where the date is going great and I want to get to know the other person better. Brunch offers both options. You can start off with some mimosas or bloodies, and then if you guys are clicking, decide to take a look at the food menu and turn this thing into a real date. Or, if the other person looks nothing like their Hinge picture, feel free to have “a yoga class,” or whatever bullshit excuse you’d like. After all, it is the weekend – you’re busy.
Hangovers breed familiarity.
Realistically, if you’re getting brunch, you’re hungover. No one gets brunch on weekdays, and if there are people that don’t go out on weekend nights, I don’t want to hang out with them. I know your first instinct is to think a hungover first date is a nightmare, but you’re wrong. The point of a first date is to really get to know someone and to see if there’s a chance at a relationship. When you’re in the zone over drinks on a Thursday, neither of you are showing your true colors. When you roll in hungover to brunch however, your mind is conditioned to be as transparent as possible. You’re both out of your comfort zone, and somewhere between that second ‘mosa and the first salty dog, you’ll find yourself spilling truth about yourself you usually bottle up until date four. Sure, you may see some crazies, but as I’ve said before, there’s nothing wrong with that.
It makes you stand out.
I guarantee that every person you’ve been on a first date with probably has another few lined up that month, or even that week. Hell, I’ve scheduled back-to-back dates before (because I hate my bank account and love a good story). After a while, they all start to blend together. You have the same conversations, in the same dimly lit bars, and drink the same drinks, and pretty soon, you don’t even know who’s who. I’ve mixed up details about girls to their faces in a way that made it very obvious I couldn’t keep my dates straight, and it sucked. It’s not even that the girls were similar or bland, but when the setting of the conversation is the same, it’s easy to get confused.
That being said, if you go on a brunch date with someone, I guarantee it’s going to stand out. Good or bad, they’ll be looking forward to it and talking about it. “This guy asked me on a date at 11 a.m. on Saturday, who does that?” “I met up with that girl from Bumble at brunch last weekend, it was awesome.” You’re going to be a hot topic in the group chat, and all press is good press. Plus, everyone loves a unique first date story because, in the back of their mind, they’re hoping this will be the one they can tell at the wedding.
You’re more likely to get laid.
I don’t know what it is, but it’s always been easier for me to get laid during the day. Beach parties in high school, tailgates in college, or daytime bar crawls – there’s something about the sun being out that makes people more down to get down. Maybe it’s because you can see clearly and you don’t feel so vulnerable and hidden. Maybe it’s because everyone seems so much friendlier during the day, and you’re more open to doing new things/people. Maybe it’s just because there’s way more excuses to go home with someone in the daylight. At 11:30 p.m., after “grabbing drinks,” the only excuse to give to go home with someone is a half-assed, “let’s drink some wine back at my place.” It sounds lame and forced. During the day you’ve got, “I’m having some friends over to watch the game,” “My roommates are pregaming, let’s join them,” or the tried and true, “Do you want to come home and nap with me?” Everyone loves napping when they’ve been day drinking, and if there’s some sex involved, that’s just a bonus. Plus, you don’t have to commit to spending the night or not, and there’s no shame in going back out after a little romp in the sheets.
Everyone who just scored some digits last weekend or who’s been texting that new match, hit them up for brunch. See how it goes. .
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