Bachelor parties turn men into animals. Strip clubs turn men into scumbags. Florida turns everyone into white trash. And when you combine the three, you’ve got a potent cocktail that’s going to end in disaster every single time.
Per The Advocate, a Florida man was at a Baton Rouge, Louisiana strip club for a bachelor party when someone made an offhand comment on his University of Florida Gators clothing. Drunk and pissed off, he went absolutely mental.
Everett L. Beauchamp IV, 32, was at The Penthouse Club on Bennington Avenue around 2:15 a.m. when one of six men at a bachelor’s party made an unwanted comment on Beauchamp’s Florida Gators gear, the Baton Rouge Police Department report says.
In response, Beauchamp picked up a stool at the valet entrance to the club and tried to assault the man who made the comment, but he was stopped.
It seems aggressive to pick up a barstool and attempt to fight someone with it over a comment about their clothing, but we’re talking SEC football here so all bets are off. Unfortunately for Beauchamp, it didn’t end there.
Beauchamp threatened to get a weapon and walked to his vehicle to get a handgun, the report says, at which time the men drove away in their vehicle.
Beauchamp followed them in his 2013 Ford Raptor down College Drive onto I-10 eastbound, the report says. The men exited at Essen Lane, only to get back onto I-10 going westbound, at which point Beauchamp tried to ram his vehicle into theirs.
The trashiest part about this isn’t the strip club, handguns, or drunken argumentative nature of Beauchamp. It’s that he drives a Ford fucking Raptor that he’s attempting to barrel into people with. I’d venture to guess that he also has either a Monster Energy Drink sticker on the back, or Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes pissing on an LSU logo. But honestly, it’s probably both.
He didn’t stop there, though.
Beauchamp followed them onto the interstate and as they reached the I-10 westbound, I-12 eastbound loop Beauchamp opened fire on their vehicle, striking the vehicle once under the driver’s side taillight.
When he was finally arrested around 3 a.m., he told the cops that he had drank between eight to ten Coronas, which is probably the least surprising fact ever about this entire ordeal until you find out that his BAC was 0.19 and they found a Taurus .45 caliber handgun in his truck.
Gotta think Beauchamp is going to have some serious Sunday Scaries after being arrested for “six counts of assault by drive-by shooting, one count of aggravated criminal damage to property, DWI, reckless driving, failure to maintain control and one count of illegal use of a weapon.”
Gators, man. Can’t tame ’em. .
[via The Advocate]
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