Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You: Ryan Lochte

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Ugh. It’s so humid here in Boston that my hair turns into a giant poof the second I walk out the door and any energy I may have had is immediately sapped from my body. The oppressive air put quite a damper on my weekend plans; I had planned to run errands and get all kinds of things done, but instead I stayed in the air conditioning and watched a marathon of My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding. While I’m not exactly proud that I spent 12 straight hours watching bedazzled ladies get into fights at their own weddings, I at least had a better weekend than these people.

Nadezhda Bazhina

Russian diver Nadezhda Bazhina is no joke – she’s won six gold medals at the European championships. But instead of being known for all of the incredible divers she’s completed, the 28-year-old will more likely be remembered for one disastrous one at the Rio games.

During the 3m springboard preliminary round, Bazhina attempted a three-and-a-half somersault. But after losing her footing as she left the board, the dive looked more like a back flop.

The dive earned a zero score, and Bazhina, despite having completed four good dives earlier, did not make the semi-finals in the event. I wonder if that hurt more than landing flat on her back? [ia Daily Mail]

Winter Haters

We’re midway through August, so obviously it’s time to start thinking about winter. And if you are one of those people that hates the snow and cold (insert hand raising emoji here), the forecast for this winter released by the Farmer’s Almanac probably ruined your weekend.

According to Cosmo,

Every region of the U.S. will be hit with a different type of terrible. The Northeast and Midwest can expect “colder than normal” temperatures and precipitation is supposed to be “above normal.” If you’re in the Pacific Northwest, you can expect a lot of rain and chilly weather.

Oh, and if you’re one of those people that actually enjoys snow and therefore heads to Intermountain or Appalachian areas to ski? Well, you’re crap out of luck too: the Almanac says it will be warmer and less snowy than usal in those regions.

The only place in the U.S. with a positive winter outlook? The hellhole known as Florida, where the winter is supposed to be warmer than normal. But then again…Zika. So it looks like we’re all screwed.

[via Cosmopolitan]


Well, this time Justin actually didn’t do anything wrong. He and his new lady friend, Sofia Richie (daughter of Lionel Richie/sister of Nicole Richie) made their relationship Instagram official this past weekend. His Beliebers went ape-shit, attacking 17-year-old model Ritchie (that seems less creepy when you know that she turns 18 on August 24th). Justin struck back, threatening to take his Insta private if his fans didn’t calm the fuck down.

The Beliebers didn’t take too kindly to the threat, reminding Bieber, “We are not just fans!!!We are Beliebers!!!” “She wouldnt of liked you if you didn’t have your beliebers” and “didnt realize a girl was more important than your beliebers.”

What do you mean, Justin? Is it too late now to say sorry? And when you told me that you hated my friends. The only problem was with you and not them. (Sorry, I’ve been waiting to drop Bieb lyrics into a piece forever.)

[via Huffington Post]


Initially, the Adele-related piece here was going to be for her fans, since news broke this weekend that the songstress turned down performing the half time at Super Bowl LI in Houston.

But then I discovered news that was even worse. Are you ready?

Adele had to give up pizza.

Seriously, is there anything worse than having to give up the ‘za? I mean, even if you hate Adele, you have to sympathize here. And it’s not even like she did because she became one of those annoying low carb/Paleo/vegan people. Instead, she had to do it for all of us – so she could continue to give everyone songs to sing at the top of your lungs in the car. (Don’t lie, we all do it.)

British newspaper the Daily Star quoted Adele as saying, “I can’t eat pizza anymore guys, how bad is that? Because it’s got cooked tomatoes on it, which are bad for your throat and give you acid reflux. How bad is that, that I can’t eat pizza, can you get over that?”

No, no I can’t, Adele. Thank you for your sacrifice. You da the real MVP.

[via Harper’s Bazaar]

Ryan Lochte

Heading into the weekend, Ryan Lochte was already having a crappy few days. While he did win a gold medal as part of the men’s 4x200m relay, he placed 5th in his only individual event, the men’s 200m individual medley. But things only got worse over the weekend, when he and three other athletes were robbed in Rio.

Lochte, along with USA fellow swimmers Gunnar Bentz, Jack Conger, and Jimmy Feigen, were held up by criminals posing as armed police early Sunday morning as the group left a party and headed back to the Olympic Village. Lochte told NBC News,

“We got pulled over, in the taxi, and these guys came out with a badge, a police badge, no lights, no nothing just a police badge and they pulled us over. They pulled out their guns, they told the other swimmers to get down on the ground — they got down on the ground. I refused, I was like we didn’t do anything wrong, so — I’m not getting down on the ground. And then the guy pulled out his gun, he cocked it, put it to my forehead and he said, ‘Get down,’ and I put my hands up, I was like ‘Whatever.’ He took our money, he took my wallet — he left my cell phone, he left my credentials.”

Luckily, all four athletes are fine, just shaken up. Hoping the robbers didn’t make off with any of Lochte’s sweet Team USA gear.

@poloralphlauren @ralphlauren #usa #riodejaneiro #olympics

A photo posted by Ryanlochte (@ryanlochte) on

[via EW]

Image via YouTube

There really did used to be 2NOTBrokeGirls, but since one of them spent all of her money on shoes and vodka, there's now just one (financially stable) J, who is too lazy to change her user name. J spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to go to graduate school, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @2NOTBrokeGirls on Twitter or

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