Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You

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It’s Monday, December 14th. There are 11 days left until Christmas, and if I had to guess, I would wager that most of you spent time this weekend A.) getting wasted while wearing a Santa suit or an ugly sweater; B.) getting wasted while trying to act appropriate at your office holiday party; C.) fighting the crowd at the mall to get your significant other that thing he/she has been hinting they wanted since Halloween; or D.) All of the above. My weekend was spent squarely in Answer B territory, but as the coordinator of the corporate holiday party, I actually have to stay relatively sober. Still, it wasn’t a bad weekend… certainly better than some people.

People That Actually Paid to Watch Aldo vs. McGregor

Thank you for all the kind messages! I am extremely grateful and proud to be in the position I am in. To the naked eye it was 13 seconds, but to my team and my family it has been a lifetime of work to get to that 13 seconds. Congratulations to the staff at the UFC on a historic week in the sports history and an amazing 2015 for the company. It is an honor to be playing a part in this great companies continued growth and success and an honor to top off a phenomenal week in the sports history. Thank you to all the fans who travelled and made this week what it was!! The traveling Irish are untouchable when it comes to creating the atmosphere needed to make a week like this what it was!! I am forever blown away by the support of my country. We have changed the game forever!!! Respect to a great champion in Jose Aldo. The true greats will always overcome adversity. I wish him and his loyal team well on their journey back. Much respect. Thank you all!!!

A photo posted by Conor McGregor Official (@thenotoriousmma) on

Sure, Jose Aldo had a pretty bad weekend, since he lost the UFC featherweight title he has held for seven years after McGregor knocked him out in a record-breaking 13 seconds. Yes, it was Aldo’s first loss in ten years, which sucks, but I’m pretty sure that Jose made a pretty decent amount of bank for less than a half minute of work, so I’m finding it hard to feel bad for him.

Instead, let’s talk about the poor bastards that shelled out $59.99 to watch UFC 194. Sure, there are plenty of people who have figured out a way around purchasing the PPV and can live-stream for free, but for a technologically challenged UFC fan, that’s not necessarily an option. So they paid approximately $4.62 a second to watch McGregor hit Aldo and Aldo hit the mat. Sure, there was an undercard, but who really cares about that?

Meanwhile, the UFC is doing ok: the fight took in U.S.-record gate revenue of $10.1 million, and the PPV fees are still being calculated. [via ESPN]

Anyone Born in 1989

For those who had the unfortunate of being born in the same year as Taylor Swift, you are faced with the constant reminder that you are not, and likely will never be, as successful as the blonde songstress. You got a raise? Tay-Tay earned over $80 million this year. You got the “MVP” award from your team at work? Swifty has 7 Grammy nominations… this year alone. And now, in the ultimate injustice to those born in 1989, she wants to trademark the year you were born, like she’s the most important thing that happened that year.

Taylor has already trademarked some key phrases from her latest album, such as “this sick beat,” “party like it’s 1989,” “could show you incredible things,” and “nice to meet you, where you been?” But now she’s at it again, filing applications to trademark “blank space,” “and I’ll write your name,” “Swiftmas”, and, unbelievably, “1989” – an entire year in which thousands of people were born ( and “Christmas Vacation” came out, BTW.) Next thing you know, she’ll be trying to trademark things she didn’t even say – Starbucks lovers, anyone? [via Cosmopolitan]

The Dude That Owns This BMW

Imagine this: you’re just rolling down the freeway in your BMW. The jams are probably turned up and you don’t have a care in the world. Until a giant steel beam comes flying off the bed of a truck and impales your German automobile while you’re speeding along.

Be careful out there on the road peoples! Driver survived with just a scratch on the arm #lucky

Posted by San Jose Fire Fighters on Friday, December 11, 2015

That’s exactly what happened to an unnamed driver on Friday afternoon on Interstate 280 Southbound in San Jose, CA. Unbelievably, the driver escaped the incident with just a scratch. Unluckily for that guy, he now has to try and explain this to his insurance company. [via New York Post]

One Direction Fans

You all knew it was coming, but the time is finally here: One Direction is officially “on a break.”

The boys performed for one final time at Wembley Stadium for the X-Factor U.K.‘s finale before going on hiatus. Their performance on the show had some significance, as the boy band got their start on the singing competition.

While the guys continue to promise that this is simply a “break” and not a “break up,” fans have to wonder how long it will be before the guys leave the group to launch solo careers, a la Zayn. And then what will we do? [via EOnline]

Johnny Manziel’s Microsoft Surface

It’s been a rough few months for the Microsoft Surface. In particular, for those that are used by NFL quarterbacks. A few weeks ago, I reported on how Aaron Rodgers took out his frustration about losing to the Panthers on his Surface ) and this week, it was Manziel’s turn to assault the tablet.

Manziel was back on Sunday after a two-game hiatus for… well, basically being Johnny Manziel. The Browns did beat the 49ers, whose implosion is amazing for me, because I hate San Fran (the team, not the city). But late in the first half, Johnny Football waited too long pass the ball to his wide receiver and was intercepted. Following the play, Johnny, in his true Johnny fashion, apparently blamed the technology more than himself.

Um, Johnny? It’s pretty evident that you aren’t exactly working with full brain power. Perhaps it’s not idea to smack around what few brain cells you have left? [via Bleacher Report]

Image via Shutterstock

There really did used to be 2NOTBrokeGirls, but since one of them spent all of her money on shoes and vodka, there's now just one (financially stable) J, who is too lazy to change her user name. J spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to go to graduate school, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @2NOTBrokeGirls on Twitter or

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