Five People That Had a Worse Weekend Than You

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Five People That Had a Worse Weekend Than You

How was your weekend? I spent mine on a girls’ trip that was supposed to be full of touristy sites and outside drinking, but instead, due to drenching rains, was spent eating mass quantities of carbs and watching a Botched marathon. Not that I’m complaining, because A.) carbs B.) I obviously still drank and C.) I definitely had it better than some people.

David Sweat
The surviving member of the duo that broke out of New York’s Clinton Correctional Facility three weeks ago was captured on Sunday after being shot near the Canadian border. Now, why anyone would try to cross the border into Canada as opposed to Mexico is beyond me, but convicted murderer Sweat will have the rest of his life in prison to contemplate his stupidity on that and a number of other points – surrounded by guards that are likely pretty pissed off at his escape (and in particular, the “Have a Nice Day!” post-it that was left behind) and other prisoners who are probably livid Sweat and his co-fugitive, Richard Matt, didn’t include them in their escape plan. Good luck with that, buddy. [via MSN]

Jimmy Fallon.
Fallon injured himself on Friday morning when he tripped and fell at his Manhattan home. On his way down, his left ring finger was almost “ripped off” when his wedding ring caught on the side of a table. Fallon underwent surgery on Friday to repair the damage and is expected to make a full recovery while The Tonight Show is on an already-scheduled hiatus for the next two weeks. Just another example of how marriage is dangerous to your health. [via BillBoard]

DMX used to be known for his mic skills. Now, he’s more likely known by his apparent ability to get arrested more times than any other human on earth. On Friday evening, the rapper was arrested yet again on his way to perform at the Masters of Ceremony show at Radio City Music Hall in NYC, and was booked on not one, not two, but four outstanding changes. Great idea to headline an event when there are several active warrants out for your arrest, chief. The charges include owning $400,000 in back child support, a warrant for bail jumping, driving as an “aggravated unlicensed motor vehicle operator,” and a complaint involving a holdup of a man in New Jersey in which DMX is accused of taking $3,200 from the victim. This makes over 20 arrests for DMX since his hit single “Party Up (Up In Here)” was released, but maybe the party’s over? [via Rolling Stone]

Jahlil Okafor

I’ve never been there, but I hear Philadelphia is a lovely city. A lovely city with a super-shitty basketball team. And Duke’s Okafor, the No. 3 overall pick in last week’s NBA Draft, seems a little bit less than thrilled to be playing there. At a press conference yesterday, Okafor’s body language seemed to portray his lack of enthusiasm for his new home, particularly when he “drops his Sixers jersey like it’s trash.” It was later updated that Okafor was dropping the shirt on a table, but either way, the poor bastard looks like he can’t get out of there fast enough. [via SB Nation]

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.
Speaking of one-two punches, the world’s most famous-for-reasons-we-don’t-understand couple took a few this week. First, the record for most-liked Instagram photo was stolen from Kim on Friday…by her own sister, Kendall, who posted this pic a few weeks ago and has since racked up 2.5 million likes.

A photo posted by Kendall Jenner (@kendalljenner) on

Then on Saturday evening, Kanye West’s performance at a musical festival in England was interrupted by British comedian Simon Brodkin, who was pulling…well, a Kanye West. Prior to the performance, there had been a ground swell of protest against Yeezus’ performance, so Brodkin decided to take the stage in a “Lee-zus” t-shir. No word on if he told Kanye that “I’mma gonna let you finish,” although the self-proclaimed “greatest living rockstar” did get to finish his set after his uninvited guest was removed from the stage. [via Time]

Know of someone that had a bad weekend? Email us (pictures are always welcome) and let us know, and you could see it in a future column.

Image via Helga Esteb /

There really did used to be 2NOTBrokeGirls, but since one of them spent all of her money on shoes and vodka, there's now just one (financially stable) J, who is too lazy to change her user name. J spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to go to graduate school, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @2NOTBrokeGirls on Twitter or

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