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Famous Literature, As Written By Your Boss Who Is Terrible At Email

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“2 b or not 2 b. Thats question were facing next quarter…
Jeff Tillman, B.A. – State University ’97
Management Executive
Young & Cross, Inc.
‘You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.’ -Michael Jordan, Chicago Bulls”
Hamlet

“Words like xrays if use them prop they’ll go thru anything. …you read and’re pierced.”
Brave New World

“1 thing Earthlings might learn to do, if enough effort is put forth… Ignore the awful times – concentrate on good 1’s.
Harry Carson
Senior VP, Client Relations
Corporate Partners, LLC
562 Broadway Ave. Ste 114
CELL: 512-555-8724
OFFICE: 512-555-9999 ext. 102
FAX: 866-555-9832
EMERGENCY #: 512-555-0087

‘Our goal is to meet yours.’ -Corporate Partners, LLC mission statement
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify the system manager. This message contains confidential information and is intended only for the individual named. If you are not the named addressee you should not disseminate, distribute or copy this e-mail. Please notify the sender immediately by e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake and delete this e-mail from your system. If you are not the intended recipient you are notified that disclosing, copying, distributing or taking any action in reliance on the contents of this information is strictly prohibited.
Slaughterhouse Five

“Could live off fat of land.”
Lennie, Of Mice and Men

“Good! I like Danger. Do you like Danger, Texas Man?”
-Exact quote from The Indian in the Cupboard

“Jim said bees wont sting idiots… didn’t believe that… because I tried them lots of times myself …and they wouldn’t sting me.”
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

“Remember if time should come when you have to make choice between what is right and what is easy remember what happened to a boy who was good kind brave because he strayed across path of Ld. Vmort remember cedric Diggory.
TY”
-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire”

“I KNOW IT’S ALL WRONG BY RIGHTS WE SHOULDN’T EVEN BE HERE BUT WE ARE IT’S LIKE IN THE GREAT STORIES MR FRODO THE ONES THAT REALLY MATTERED FULL OF DARKNESS AND DANGER THEY WERE. AND SOMETIMES YOU DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW THE END BECAUSE HOW COULD THE END BE HAPPY HOW COULD THE WORLD GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS WHEN SO MUCH BAD HAD HAPPENED BUT IN THE END IT’S ONLY A PASSING THING THIS SHADOW EVEN DARKNESS MUST PASS A NEW DAY WILL COME AND WHEN THE SUN SHINES IT WILL SHINE OUT THE CLEARER THOSE WERE THE STORIES THAT STAYED WITH YOU THAT MEANT SOMETHING EVEN IF YOU WERE TOO SMALL TO UNDERSTAND WHY BUT I THINK MR FRODO I DO UNDERSTAND I KNOW NOW FOLK IN THOSE STORIES HAD LOTS OF CHANCES OF TURNING BACK ONLY THEY DIDN’T THEY KEPT GOING BECAUSE THEY WERE HOLDING ON TO SOMETHING
Best,
Terrence White”
-Samwise Gamgee, The Two Towers

“CALL ME ASAP ISHMAEL – NEED LOGIN
…?
Sent from my iPhone”
Moby Dick

“What do they teach them at these schools?”
-Exact quote from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

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