======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
That jukebox isn’t going to play “The Power of Love” by Huey Lewis and the News on its own. Pick yourself up by your suspenders, toss on your tortoise glasses, slide into those bit loafers, and make your way down to the local watering hole because it’s all but official – Zima is coming back.
Yes, Zima. The alcoholic beverage your parents were taking down between games of badminton during the 1990s is poised for a comeback if this news from MillerCoors means anything. I’ve never wanted to get drunk with a sweater tied around my shoulders more than I did upon hearing this news. The only thing that could’ve possibly made it better was if I had read it in the print version of The Wall Street Journal rather than online, but life can’t all be tucked in oversized polos and pleated khakis.
Per Ad Age:
Zima could be coming back zoon. MillerCoors is poised to reintroduce the 1990s-era clear malt beverage that was once advertised as “zomething different.”
Beer Business Daily on Thursday reported that the brand is already in distributor warehouses and will “allegedly be offered for a limited time only.” A MillerCoors spokesman told Ad Age that “more news [is] coming soon” and that “if you’re one of the zillion fans who have missed Zima, the answer should be clear.”
Need a refresher? Here, take this 1994 Zima commercial and let your mind run with it.
Yes, this guy is wearing a white suit. Yes, he did compliment a woman’s arms at a bar. And yes, he did ask, “What’s your zign?” while replacing every word that began with an “s” with a “z.” Because that’s what Zima does to a man – it turns him into a lady killer who thinks to himself before leaving the house, “This blazer doesn’t need a button down shirt under it.”
Or maybe you’re more of the douchebag sort of yuppie. That’s fine – some say that having a certain amount of douche in your personality is a good thing. Feel like cooking up some fish on a rooftop while slamming a couple cans of Zima? That’s on the table too.
Even in 1994 you could hear someone asking “Are those free-range burgers?” because being yuppie scum is timeless, which the people at MillerCoors are obviously well aware of.
Drive zafely, Miata owners. At up to 5.4% alcohol by volume, don’t be afraid to do zomething different. .
[via Ad Age]