We’re all big fans of workplace pranks, the more vicious and over-the-top, the better. While we don’t advocate indiscriminately screwing with your coworkers or causing anyone actual harm, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get justice done, especially when it comes to defending the honor of the woman you love. And sometimes that justice comes in the form of obliterating their digestive tract with one of the hottest hot sauces on the planet.
According to Reddit user Toastedchillies, one of his wife’s coworkers had been stealing the lunches that he painstakingly cooks for her every day. He finally decided that enough was enough, and he was going to make this son of a bitch pay. Here’s what he posted in the fantastically-named SubReddit known as JusticePorn
“So I’m a bit of a chilli head. Love my hot sauces. I also love to cook. I also cook my wife a delicious lunch each day, She kept complaining that someone was stealing her lunch every couple of days out of the fridge at work. So I made her some buffalo wings for lunch to put in the fridge, They are really popular with her colleagues But I spiced them up just a little with some Blair’s 4am Reserve. (I note you are meant to dilute it with 1 drop per 5 litres of liquid).
So I added a couple of drops of Blairs 4am Reserve per wing with nice dusting of Ghost chilli powder for good measure. I did eat a couple to make sure it didn’t kill anybody, they were real hot. Even cream doesn’t cut the heat: and Ghost chillies keep getting hotter for about 5 minutes.
Needless to say just before lunch, there was a shrill from the kitchen, a young male colleague decided to help himself the my wife’s lunch which was clearly marked with her name. He ran to the toilet and vomited over and over. Apparently the moans sounded like he was dying. My wife just sat there innocently pretending nothing was wrong. Needless to say she has not lost a single lunch since.”
Good Lord, that’s brutal. According to the comments section, the dude was on his second wing before the burning set in, so you can imagine that this gentleman was in some serious gastrointestinal distress. He must have looked something like this.