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Don’t Ask Me What I Did On My Vacation

Don’t Ask Me What I Did On My Vacation

As I head into the office, I hear the words I’ve been dreading.

“Hey, welcome back! How was your vacation?!”

While the first part of that greeting is horrible enough – thanks for reminding me I’m back at this hellhole we call an office – it’s the second part that sends chills down my spine. Because after I say “Great!” (the only acceptable response), you’re going to expect that I follow up with details about what I did/saw/ate. Details that you don’t actually care about and ones that I don’t really have because I spent my vacation doing nothing.

That’s right, I did nothing. And I fucking loved it.

By my estimation, there are two types of vacationers: those that like to do stuff, and those that don’t. And 99% of the time, I fall very firmly into the second camp. For example: on my recent vacation, I took a cruise to some islands in the Western Caribbean, but frankly, the destination didn’t much matter. Because pretty much all I did was read, sleep and eat – in rotation – with a workout thrown in daily for good measure. I didn’t participate in any of the ship’s onboard activities. I didn’t hang out at any of the bars and chat it up with my fellow cruise-goers. I didn’t sign up for an overpriced tour of whatever interchangeable island we stopped at. Hell, I didn’t even sit by the pool. In fact, I barely left my (weirdly large) stateroom. And it was exactly what I needed.

Now, I’ve had the incredible luck to travel to some amazing places – Alaska, France, England, Ireland, Iceland. When I’ve visited those destinations, of course I got off my ass and took advantage of all of the incredible things those destinations offer because those were once-in-a-lifetime opportunities and lord knows if I’ll ever see those places again. But I kind of feel like the Caribbean islands are all the same (and yes, I’m fully aware that that makes me sound like a pompous asshole). Seen one, seen ‘em all, which makes them the perfect “do-nothing” vacation.

It probably seems a bit wasteful to spend the money to do nothing on a cruise ship, as I did this vacay, or in a hotel, as I’ve done before. I mean, couldn’t I have just taken a week off work and sat home to do nothing? Sure that works…for some people. But every time I try and take a staycation, I wind up filling my days with endless errands and tasks that don’t get accomplished when I’m working. And pretty soon, my staycation doesn’t feel much like vacation at all, after I’ve spent days vacuuming, dusting, and reorganizing my scarf closet. So for me to really recharge my batteries, I need to pack a bag, get the hell out of dodge, and sit on my ass in a room that’s not in my house. A room that other people clean and I can order room service to. A room with a king size bed, a jacuzzi bathtub and a giant TV.

For all of you “do stuff” vacationers, I’m sure this concept of doing nothing is foreign to you. And I get it – why would you bother to actually go on vacation and then do nothing? But hey, don’t knock it until you try it. Because once you go do-nothing, you may never go back.

So how was my vacation, you ask? It was great. But don’t ask me what I did, because I don’t have much of an answer – and I like it that way.

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2NOTBrokeGirls

There really did used to be 2NOTBrokeGirls, but since one of them spent all of her money on shoes and vodka, there's now just one (financially stable) J, who is too lazy to change her user name. J spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to go to graduate school, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @2NOTBrokeGirls on Twitter or 2NOTBrokeGirls@gmail.com.

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