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Donald Trump And Jeb! Square Off In The Twitter Battle Of The Century

Whew, boy. We got us a catfight online, fellas.

Two of the biggest names in the GOP presidential race (and there are only like seven names left), Jeb! Bush and Donald Trump, started beefing hard online, today. We knew social media was going to play in this election like we’ve never seen before, but a straight up @ each other catfight is what we got this afternoon — and it ruled.

Let’s break it down, tweet by tweet.


Here is your first blow, courtesy of deflated orange kickball, Donald Trump. Is his claim true? Maybe. I don’t know. Who cares? Didn’t we already stop fact-checking Donald like six months ago, anyway? All that matters is that he says whatever he is thinking, really loudly. That’s hard to do in a tweet, yet somehow he managed to do it here.

Score:

Donald – 3K RTs, 9.5K Faves/Likes
Jeb! – 0

Jeb! wasn’t going to take this shit lying down — you better believe that. He grabbed his smartphone, logged THE FUCK in, and fired back:


OHHHH SHIT, OHHHHHHHH SHITTTTTTTTT.

The gloves are off! The gloves areeeee offffffff!

Score:
Donald – 3K RTs, 9.5K Faves/Likes
Jeb! – 2.3K RTs, 3.4K Faves/Likes

Trigger fingers turned to Twitter fingers, Donald locks in on his target:


Oh, man. This is devastating. Another political accusation that means essentially nothing to me. All I know is, The Don™ is RACKING UP some major online impressions. Jeb! better hope Wi-Fi signals are down across New Hampshire, or he might not make it to Tuesday.

Score:
Donald – 4.7K RTs, 14.7K Faves/Likes
Jeb! – 2.3K RTs, 3.4K Faves/Likes

This is getting out of hand, folks. Jeb! was going to have to deliver BIG TIME or the umpire was going to declare it a run-rule.

Jeb! recognized this. The situation was dire. It called for a Grade-A meme. The only question was, could Jeb!’s communication manager, Tim Miller, deliver?


Fuck… FUCK… FUCKKKKK!

Even Steph Curry admires the clutch-ness of this tweet. Breaking out Barbara Bush in football pads? Jeb!’s pulled out all the stops, folks. The cards on the table. Let’s check back to see what this means on the Social Scoreboard.

Score:
Donald – 4.7K RTs, 14.7K Faves/Likes
Jeb! – 4.9K RTs, 7.1K Faves/Likes

WOW! Look at that! By the skin of his teeth, Jeb! pulls out a major victory in the Granite State.

Could this be the momentum shift this race so desperately needs? Is this the beginning of the end for Donald Trump? Stick around, Online™, to find out.

Image via Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com

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