No, no, no. This is where I draw the line. A KFC-scented candle in my own home? You’re practically begging me to head to the local drive-thru to buy a bucket of chicken strips for “me and my friends.” Listen, I love fried chicken like everyone else. It’s delicious and addictive and grilled chicken will never come close in terms of taste. But if you put a KFC-scented candle in a 12-mile radius of me I’m officially off the wagon. I’m sneaking popcorn chicken in between bites of lettuce. I’m driving cross town for BK Cheetos Chicken Fries. I’m keeping a tub of popcorn chicken in my car in case of emergencies. And I know two of those three examples used popcorn chicken but that’s because I really like popcorn chicken.
It’s a great idea in principle. Fried chicken is an incredible smell. It’s juicy, greasy. Erotic, even. But I can’t have Colonel Sanders sitting at my bedside. I’ll wake up in the middle of the night screaming for dipping sauce or an extra biscuit. It’s a slippery slope buying this candle. Let me put it this way: If you were a drug addict would you buy a candle that smelt like your favorite drug? Exactly. Now let’s go eat some Taco Bell and forget this ever happened.
P.S- I’d probably end up like these people: