The World’s Most Expensive Divorce Just Got Settled, And I’ve Never Felt More Poor

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The World's Most Expensive Divorce Just Got Settled, And I've Never Felt More Poor

In what’s being called “The World’s Most Expensive Divorce,” Dmitry Rybolovlev finally settled everything with his now ex-wife after all of the lawsuits on the table were dropped. A Russian Oligarch worth more than $9 billion, Dmitry fought for over seven years with his ex over everything from properties to jets to yachts.

Per Town & Country:

The terms have not been released, but it’s worth mentioning that at one point a Swiss Judge wanted to award Elena Rybolovleva half his fortune, which is what makes this so costly.

In fact, he said, talking of the divorce, he never really wanted to get divorced at all. (Then again, one must remember he had not had a prenuptial​ agreement, so financially he had good reason not to.) He had met Elena (whose lawyers did not return calls) back when he was a student cardiologist, before he went into finance and the fertilizer industry and made his fortune. It was never an ordinary marriage with ordinary stresses.

Well of course he didn’t want to get divorced. This dude knew the hassle and bank it would cost him. At the end of the day, isn’t it more worth just letting some old bag of air complain to you all day rather than give her billions upon billions of assets? Just look at what these two had to haggle over.

$88 Million – 15 Central Park West apartment, NYC

$95 Million – Palm Beach mansion bought from Donald Trump, Maison de l’Amitie

$150 Million – Two Greek islands that once belonged to Athina Onassis

$111 Million – “My Anna” yacht

$20 Million – Kauai, Hawaii house purchased from Will Smith

$95 Million – Airbus A319 Jet

$480-800 Million – Art and furniture collection

$138 Million – Gstaad property

$50 Million – Moscow real estate holdings

$24 Million – Paris property

Dmitry did his interview with Town & Country regarding all of this in Monaco, which is the most disgustingly baller place one can do an interview about a billion dollar divorce. Had I been there for the interview, I would have asked some questions of my own.

Why did you find it necessary to buy not one, but two Greek Islands? When you purchased your house in Hawaii from Will Smith, did you two smoke cigars together after you completed the sale like you were in Bad Boys? And finally, the fuck are you doing spending $800 million on furniture, my dude?

Let’s see. If I were married and the broad I was trying to divorce was entitled to half of my fortune, here’s what she’d get: Half of a bottle of Pinot Noir signed by Igor Larionov, a collection of golf balls with famous logos on them, a bunch of size large longsleeve pocket shirts, a pair of irons that are fitted to 9th-grade me, and half of my student loan debt. Congrats, toots, pleasure doin’ business with ya.

[via Town & Country]

Image via Shutterstock

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