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Dad Bitching About His Daughter’s First Christmas Home From College Is The Best Form Of Birth Control

Someone asked me if I had kids the other day. I openly laughed out loud in their face. My reaction was completely unconscious. Like a knee-hitting reflex except with societal norms smacking you in the face. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll for sure love my kids when I have them. But that doesn’t mean I won’t hate them 95% of the time and think about how cool my life would be without them for the rest of my remaining living days.

Take this dad, for example. Dan Howard of Cape Elizabeth, Maine. He took to social media to document his daughter’s first Christmas home since going off to college. In what only can be described as a part vlog-diary, part ransom video, Dad Hero Dan takes us day-by-day through his harrowing 120-hour ordeal, where he stops just short of offering to sell his daughter on the black market. Take a look:

Can’t wait to be a parent. *chugs wine*

[via Us Magazine]

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