According to sources currently seated on the benches right next to the mirrors at Gold’s Gym, one man in his twenties, Jeff Mason, stormed out of the gym before coming back hours later with a process server in tow.
Using terms like “paleo” and “kipping,” the slightly in shape man reportedly was appalled when he got into a heated discussion with one of the fellow gym-goers about each other’s workout routine. Sources said that Mason took issue with the use of the squat rack.
“My friend, Eric, was doing his normal leg routine. 5 sets of 5 heavy back squats first when this guy came storming over clamoring that Eric was doing it all wrong. It’s almost like Jeff had never been to a gym before. He kept shouting at my good friend that he was using the squat rack all wrong. When my friend asked for a demonstration, Jeff began doing this weird variation of a pull-up that I had never seen before. I was honestly worried that he was going to hurt himself.”
Sources say that Eric told Jeff to find his own squat rack and that Jeff marched off in a fit of rage. When Eric went into his next exercise, power-cleans, all hell broke loose.
“I mean, it was bad. Jeff came racing over from the corner of the gym where he was throwing a kettlebell in the air like it was a baseball and just berated Eric. I’ve never seen anything like it. He was so mad that Eric was doing his power-cleans slowly, so he grabbed the bar and just started doing this herky-jerky motion, dropped the bar, and yelled ‘NOW THAT’S HOW ME AND MY GANG DO IT.’ It was honestly quite frightening.”
Eye-witnesses say that’s when Jeff ran out of the building only to return with a lawsuit. We asked Mason why he felt the need to pursue legal action against the gym. This is what he had to say.
“I just don’t get it. It was my first time to visit the gym since I was in town on business. I was shocked at what I found. These Neanderthals were doing all these odd workouts that I had never seen before. I’ll admit that I’m still a novice in the workout area since I started just last year when I was introduced to CrossFit, but these exercises they were doing were all wrong and were taking up my space to do the WOD.”
We reached out to Jeff’s lawyers, who also run a CrossFit gym, to see if they thought they had any chance to settle this, but all they had to tell us was “CrossFit is the only type of workout people should be doing.”.
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