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Con Artist Fakes Coma For TWO WHOLE YEARS To Avoid Going To Court

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Alan Knight, a 47-year-old con man was arrested in the UK after pretending to be in a completely unresponsive, vegetative state for OVER TWO YEARS. That’s right. The dude pretended to be in a coma and claimed to be a quadriplegic in an attempt to beat the justice system so he wouldn’t have to stand trial for a scam that he pulled. It’s like the exact opposite of “Weekend at Bernie’s.”

And what was the scam, you might ask? Why, stealing £41,570 from his elderly neighbor’s retirement fund so he and his family could go on vacations and own an RV, or as the Brits call it, a “caravan.”

Part of me wants to respect Knight’s game for spending two years pretending to be in a coma, but another, much larger part of me realizes that he was pretending to be a quadriplegic to avoid going to court for stealing an old person’s retirement fund, and there is a very, very special place in hell for this sick son of a bitch.

Here’s how he did it: He claimed to suffer a neck injury, suffered when he fell backwards while pulling down a garage door. By snapping his neck in such a fashion, he claimed was prone to seizures, which left him in a comatose state. Every time the police would try to bring him to court, which, by their estimate, was “at least twice” (How very precise of you, British police), he would go to a hospital, say his condition got worse, and then slip into a coma.

His wife was in on it too, she pretended to take care of him every time he slipped into a coma, claiming that he was forced to survive on oxygen and was paralyzed from the waist down. Police caught him on closed-circuit camera at a Tesco (think: UK Costco) and driving over a toll bridge, plus they caught him using his Tesco loyalty card. Smart move, dingus.

The Judge in the case is looking to lock him up quickly, to prevent other people from considering employing the same tactic to escape justice:

“Aspects of this case in my experience are unique, and a strong message needs to be sent out to anyone who seeks to adopt similar tactics.”

Knight was due to appear in court today, where they tried him on “19 separate charges of forgery, fraud and theft over more than a year from November 2008.” The trial went on, even in his absence.

He will be sentenced next month. Can we possibly bring back public humiliation for this douchebag? There’s wrong, then there’s “stealing an old person’s pension” wrong, and even worse is “attempting to get out of a court appearance by pretending to be a quadriplegic” wrong. I think a tarring and feathering or stoning would be appropriate here.

[via Daily Mail]

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