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Chili’s Finally Caved And Lifted Their Ban On Pam

Chili's Finally Made It Right And Lifted Their Ban On Pam Beesly

What a savvy marketing move. Do you feel god in this Chili’s? Do you?

Effective immediately, Chili’s® Grill & Bar has removed the longstanding ban on a Scranton, Pennsylvania woman who allegedly caused a disturbance during a company awards party held at a Chili’s near the Pennsylvania town of Scranton.

The woman, Pam Beesly Halpert (Hey, Chili’s, spoiler alert), received a prestigious award for having the whitest sneakers in the company.

After thanking her shoes and coworkers, the woman declared, “I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.”

“After reviewing the good conduct of Pam, I have decided to lift the now 11-year ban,” said Kelli Valade, President of Chili’s. “Pam is an inspiration to many and we welcome her with open arms.”

Here is your headline: “Scranton Area Restaurant, Chili’s® Grill & Bar, apologizes to valued customer. Some companies still know how business is done.”

It’d be easy to get wrapped up in this feel-good story and be happy for Pam/Jenna, but as a staunch “Jim should have picked Karen” and sanctity of Chili’s believer, this is a soft move by America’s favorite feedbag. Nerf ball. There’s a two drink limit for a reason.

However, I am sympathetic towards people banned from Chili’s, because I may or may not have had a bad run-in with a particularly surly assistant (to the) manager at the Tampa International Airport Chili’s Too after a dispute over whether or not the vodka floater I asked for in my strawberry lemonade was actually Titos, instead of the Svedka it tasted like. When I’m paying $8 an ounce, I better get top shelf. I believe that there is a special exemption for airport Chili’s in this case. There’s just no humanly way possible to be anything but disappointed in yourself at an airport Chili’s, which ultimately is what led to me ALLEGEDLY verbally dressing down some poor 24-year-old kid at 2 p.m. on the Sunday after my brother’s bachelor party. Allegedly.

How did this incident unfold? Well, Jenna Fisher tweeted this a few days ago:

Impressive. What was Chili’s going to say? Really forced their hand. Gotta give it to her. Chili’s got boxed into a corner by the one and only Pam Beesly Halpert and had nowhere else to go other than the old viral marketing well. Such a layup. I had more faith in their corporate policies than this.

What really would have impressed me is if Chili’s upheld the lifetime ban instead of kowtowing.

You know who would never get banned from Chili’s?

Screen Shot 2017-02-07 at 8.46.26 PM

Benihana would never do such a thing.

[via Brinker Media]

Image via NBC / YouTube

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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

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