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Check Out The Most Ridiculous, Unintentionally (?) Hilarious Instagram Account Ever

Meet Anwar Zayden, AKA legendofanwar. He rides horses, swims with dolphins, wears banana hammocks and womanizes like only a guy named Anwar Zayden could. His Instagram page is an endless treasure trove of gold. His bio is mysterious and beckons the inquisitive mind:

“They try to kill Anwar. I say no! I back ready for fight and horse.”

He ready for fight and horse. Anwar is out for vengeance, but why? His life seems pretty great already…

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Look I take the picture with Shaq. Yo no no these but Shaq call Anwar for the motivate. I tell Shaq life is no easy. Kobe is no nice. Come to Miami and Anwar teach Horse, Scuba and Focus. He come and Heat champion. Thank you Anwar. Kisses Anwar.

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Look Anwar smile. I no no why Guy ask for picture. I only Guy look good. Smile today for Anwar. I go on boat. Kisses Anwar

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I no what you think. Two Lady Is no enough for Anwar. Today I do appetizer for tonight. I fly with more Lady to Bahama to watch Bowl of Super. Kisses Anwar.

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These my good friend. He alway make me wear shirt. I no no why. Is ok. He black fox. Kisses Anwar.

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I give good news. Witch make Anwar take short off and replace with towel. She say magic rain is good for Anwar soul. I never lie to you. Rain feel good on Snake. Kisses Anwar.

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Anwar drink last night to much. I find secret to overhang. Anwar blade of roller to erase headache and so think forward. Apologies I still no focus right today. I lay like bat latter to even. Right now I blade of roller until head hurt no more. Kisses Anwar.

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I take Horse on boardwalk today. Police no like. I tell police I secret agent you no no. I retire 1988. I do freelance stuff for Bush sometime. Is ok. Police say Anwar is ok just no go on street with horse. I say I no stupid. In Anwar mind I no Police no match for Anwar with Horse. Two time I take Horse and jump over car of police. Kisses Anwar.

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Do I tell you Anwar also Captain of ship. I no you think how Anwar learn to fly, swim, ride horse and bike. Is because I champion. Anwar learn life is for fun. Lady holes keep Anwar warm and heart young. Is ok. I learn to survive for war. Anwar watch movie Independence Day. Inspire Anwar to be ready for fight. If president need Anwar to fly fighter jet I ready. I no no if Alien is real but I train to fight Alien and Japan. You no no

He’s apparently an art dealer to the stars in Miami and he’s got a Facebook page and everything. His life is better than yours and he’s damn sure you’re gonna know about it. Check out his Instagram for more.

Kisses, Anwar.

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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

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