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‘Chardonnay Go’ Is The Public Health App We’ve All Been Waiting For

'Chardonnay Go' Is The Public Health App We’ve All Been Waiting For

Want an excuse to get out in your neighborhood but catching Zubats doesn’t really appeal to you? Not to worry, there’s a new app calling your name.

With Chardonnay Go, you can wander around your neighborhood and be rewarded with free glasses of wine! Honestly, I can’t really imagine anything better, unless the app was Sauvignon Blanc Go (although I suppose that doesn’t really have the same ring to it). All throughout the world, there are hidden glasses of Chardonnay, just waiting to be found and consumed. All you have to do is download this amazing app and get moving!

My only problem with the app? Besides the fact that it’s not real, my biggest issue is that supposedly only moms can enjoy it. Excuse me? If there was really a Chardonnay Go app, you’d better believe I’d be running across 8-lane highways like a fool trying to find hidden glasses of wine near me. While I’m not moving more than an inch out of bed to catch yet another Rattata, I’d run a 10K through my neighborhood to find free hidden glasses of wine. Seriously, someone that understands technology, please make this happen for me. In the meantime, I’m going to Chardonnay Go to my local liquor store without having to drain my phone’s battery for GPS usage.

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Steph W.

Steph W. is a current grad student with an intern's salary and six-figure taste. She realizes her expectations far exceed reality, so she spends her days pinning away Loubs she pretends are in her physical closet instead of her virtual one. Her hobbies include attempting to trapping her boyfriend into marriage before he finds out how insane she is and pretending that Black Box wine tastes as good as the kind she could afford when she was gainfully employed. E-mail: recruitchairtsm@gmail.com

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