Having to retake grades K-12 to prove to my dad I’m ready to take over the family hotel chain. PGP.
You know you’re getting old when your friends all start having planned pregnancies. PGP.
Opened underwear from my deployed boyfriend that said “sexually deprived for your freedom” in front of my super conservative parents and grandparents. Merry Christmas. PGP.
While looking for a shirt to wear to work, I realized no one will notice me anyway. PGP.
Recognizing people across multiple online dating sites. PGP.
Refusing to read the “best jobs of 2017” articles because they make me too depressed. PGP.
Violently sneezed at the urinal and pissed all over myself. PGP.
One of my work friends got engaged today meanwhile I fucked my ex. PGP.
Toeing the line between skinny fat and just fat. PGP.
Went on a date in my home town with a girl from high school. The bartender was my dad’s best friend and the only other couple there was my neighbors. PGP.
There are now NFL head coaches younger than me. PGP.
Over drafted my checking account at Arby’s. PGP.
Trying to figure out the socially acceptable time to start drinking at the family Christmas party. PGP.
I take the stairs to avoid my coworkers. PGP.
Boss just asked me if I owned a YouTube. PGP.
Went with my pops to meet his coworkers at local dive, ended up shacking with his secretary. PGP.
My coworker got a $200 Amazon gift card for Secret Santa. I got a Justin Bieber bath towel. PGP.
I’ve stopped caring about having sex. PGP.
Relearning high school math for the GMAT. PGP.
Accidentally submitted a column as a wall post. PGP.