Just got my girlfriend pregnant. PGP.
Threw out my lower back playing corn hole at a brewery this weekend. PGP.
Now that I’m in law school I actually miss my college finals. PGP.
Cuffing Season. PGP.
My pledge brother is getting married on homecoming weekend. PGP.
Inspirational quotes in email signatures. PGP.
May the 4th be with you. PGP.
Asking “Who do you know here?” at a party. TFM.
Asking “Who do you know here?” at a networking event. PGP.
I just got notice I’m getting transferred to Tulsa. PGP.
I’ve been at this job site for almost six weeks. Only have two friends. PGP.
Threesome happened, and it consists of my coworker and her boyfriend. PGP.
Taking suggestions for a new Bumble opener. PGP.
My city is going absolutely batshit over the Cubs. I’m a Twins fan. PGP.
Fuck it. I’m getting wine tonight. PGP.
Just got promoted and relocated to a new office- 400 miles away. PGP.
Accepted a job offer this morning and already my productivity at my current job has plummeted. Haven’t even given notice yet. PGP.
Trump just won my home state. PGP.
My boss isn’t letting us leave early for voting day. PGP.
Got married Saturday. Didn’t have sex. PGP.
May have to give up coffee because of the Acid Reflux. PGP.