In 2015, we are fortunate enough to live in an economy that sucks, apply for jobs in a workforce that sucks, and swim in enough student loan debt that we could collectively form the US Olympic Debt-Diving Team (which sucks). If there was ever a demographic out there that knew what it was like to do everything but literally shove money down the drain, it’s us – and also the 11,248 people who bought nothing on Black Friday at five bucks a pop.
If you’re curious as to which company sold nothing and made bank, it’s the same company who sold literal bullshit to about 30,000 consumers last Black Friday and raked in even more: the popular, politically-incorrect card game, Cards Against Humanity.
The differences between this year and last? Well, for starters, bullshit involves inventory, whereas nothing involves nothing. As someone who worked in the mall for my part-time job in college, that’s a win in my eyes every single time.
On top of that, last year’s shit sales of $180,000 went to charity instead of profit. The poop that people were buying for $6 a box created proceeds that went toward providing livestock to developing communities through Heifer International. This year’s profits aren’t so much. Instead, this year’s profits of $71,145 are remaining profits, and going straight into the wallets of the company’s 17 employees, to pay for things such as divorce attorney fees and scotch scotch scotch, scotchy-scotch scotch.
You can see a list of what everyone bought with their share of profits here, and I would recommend heading over to take a look at the list, as CAH employees made several personal donations to organizations like Planned Parenthood and animal rescues.
If I’ve learned nothing else today, it’s that all it takes to live life is to create a popular drinking game, sell clicks for $5 on Black Friday, and profit. .
Image via Shutterstock