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Caffeine Fiend Astronaut Refuses To Go To Space Without Coffee, Builds Zero Gravity Espresso Machine For Herself

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I’ll be the first to admit that, besides my significant other, coffee is the one thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. Get to work on time? Not without coffee. Actually shave both legs? Not without coffee. Give bosses and fellow employees anything but resting bitch face before 11 AM? Not without coffee.

It seems astronaut Samantha Cristoforetti is with me on this and wouldn’t head up to her space station without her daily cup o’Joe. How does a coffee pot even work in space, you ask? Well, Cristoforetti isn’t bringing just any old office Keurig. Nope, she’s got a specially designed espresso machine that will work for her, even in space.

To create this zero-gravity machine for Cristoforetti, Italian coffee-maker Lavazza partnered with Argotec, an engineering firm that focuses primarily on space-tech food. The only downside of this is that the coffee itself, unfortunately, won’t be zero gravity as well, so Cristoforetti is going to have to enjoy her daily venti skim no-whip no-foam pumpkin spice latte through a straw.

Plus one point for her teeth, minus two for those mouth wrinkles she’ll probably develop from that. Watching Interstellar basically made me a space-time expert though, so I can say with 50% confidence that she’ll come back looking better than the rest of us anyway. Can you use Botox in space? We’ll have to check back with Cristoforetti after she gets back from the Italian space station.

[via Daily Mail]

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The Recruitment Chair

The Recruitment Chair is a mid-level employee with a low-level salary and six-figure taste. She realizes her expectations far exceed reality, so she spends her days pinning away Loubs she pretends are in her physical closet instead of her virtual one. Her hobbies include lounging around in leggings and an oversized sweatshirt with a bottle of $14 wine while binge-watching episodes of Game of Thrones and Mad Men, as well as....well, that's really it.

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