Ask any bride planning her wedding (read: all of your old high school friends) what she’s most looking forward to about her big day, and her most likely response will be something along the lines of, “the day after it’s all over.” Unless you’re on the receiving end of a cluster diamond, engagements are an exciting time… until they’re not. Once you pick a date and start looking at venues, negotiating contracts with vendors, and arguing with your future spouse over whose great-aunt gets cut from the guest list first, the excitement surrounding quickly turns into a $30,000 headache. Of course, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel – not the abundance of Bed, Bath, and Beyond gift cards, but the quiet escape to Aruba that comes afterwards. Even though you’ll be spending the day after your wedding hungover in an airport, you’ll quickly be transported to an all-inclusive resort where you can sip champagne cocktails with your new spouse and enjoy the quiet – oh yeah, and the alone time with the person you’ve decided you want to spend your life with.
However, this is now changing and not, in my opinion, for the better. Instead of lounging on a beach with your husband and the “Mrs.” t-shirt you bought from Pinterest, people are now changing their honeymoons into “buddymoons” and I’ve literally never been less on board with a trend in my entire life. Getting married and terrified of finally spending ten uninterrupted days with someone who was once only a right swipe on Tinder? Want to kill the most romantic moment of your foreseeable future that won’t be filled with debates over whose turn it is to take the dog out? Then inviting everyone you know on a group honeymoon vacation may be the bad decision for you.
Apparently this trend started when Jen Aniston invited some friends along on her honeymoon a few years ago, but like the braless spaghetti strap look that dominated the 2000s, this is yet another one of her ideas that I wish would have never caught on. Supposedly, these “buddymoons” appeal to the extroverts of our society who don’t want the party to stop at the DJ’s last song. What could be better than inviting your wedding guests along to share in what’s traditionally supposed to be the start to a long and successful marriage?
Give me just a moment to break down all of the ways that this trend is the worst idea I’ve ever heard. First, and most obviously, this trend needs to die because if you can’t spend a week alone with the person you just married, you probably should have just saved the $30K to give to your closest attorney friend on their next birthday. Next, take a second to think about whether your friends actually want to go on this “adventure” with you. Of course, they won’t say no if invited, but after dropping thousands on bridesmaid dresses, showers, parties, drinks, and travel, if you ask your friends to spend another 10 days and thousands of dollars on vacation with you, understand that this is the last interaction you will EVER have with these people again. Finally, I’d only recommend going on this type of vacation if you want your marriage to dissolve due to being mocked mercilessly by everyone you know and losing all of your friends who, if they ever believed in your relationship in the first place, have certainly ceased to do so now.
For everyone getting married, please, I beg you: stop trying to reinvent the wedding. No more mason jars. No more themes. And for the love of all that is good, no more buddymoons. Spend your savings account in peace, and please, stop giving us reason to make fun of you. It’s not something we want to do necessarily, but if you give us the opportunity, it’s not like we really have the choice to do anything else. So please, save us, save yourself, and just go to Sandals like you’re supposed to, okay? .
[via Conde Nast Traveler]