This episode had the makings of a winner. Ruxin was back. Rafi had extensive screen time. Corbin Bernsen (“Psych,” “The Young and the Restless”) guest starred as Jenny’s father, Bruce Banger. By the end, it looked like we had finally solved Kevin’s low T situation, putting a bullet in the head of that dying horse. And yet, I found this episode to be pretty uninspiring. The writers gave us more gross-out humor (Rafi literally eats shit throughout the episode) and a really poor attempt to discuss the Washington Redskins issue, which fell incredibly short of being funny. You can’t try to use comedy to bring attention to a sensitive subject like that if you aren’t going to be absolutely hilarious. There were still some good lines, and it wasn’t the worst episode in the world, but I’m starting to lose faith in the show. It’s either time for a refresh (read: new writers) or it may be time to say goodbye to “The League.”
The main thread of this week’s episode was Kevin’s quest to regain his manhood. Jenny’s father is in town and he has long believed that Kevin is a “ninny.” (Really? That’s the best we could do?) Kevin agrees to head out to Man Land, which is really just the woods, to spend a night hunting and living off the land. The rest of the guys, minus Andre, are roped into the trip, too. It is in the woods that the group stumbles upon Rafi, who has been tracking Kevin and eating bear shit, which he affectionately refers to as “second harvest.” To be honest, not a whole lot happens in the woods from the time they get there until they leave. The group tries to set up camp and we learn that Ruxin was a Boy Scout until age 18 because of college applications. They then go to a local Native American bar, because the guys need wifi to set their fantasy football lineups. It is in this scene that they offend every Native American there with their discussion of the Washington Redskins. They escape being knifed at the bar and fall asleep in the woods, only to be awoken by a bear the next morning. Kevin, who had wandered off the night before, comes out of nowhere, flailing his arms and yelling, scaring off the bear and saving the day (why Kevin is the only one who knows the most well-known bear tactic in the world is beyond me). The group uses Taco’s bread crumb trail (coins he has been dropping in the woods, because he read that pennies are being discontinued and he doesn’t want to be the last person on his block with that garbage) to get back to the road where they run into their Native American friends and ask for a lift. They are granted a ride, but only after dropping all Washington Redskins players from their fantasy football teams. (Seriously?) Other than a few funny lines, I was mostly bored by this entire thread. Rafi eating shit was just unnecessarily gross. The whole father-in-law, son-in-law manhood thing has been beaten to death in storytelling. The only positive that came out of this was Kevin saving the day, which earned him the respect of Bruce and seemed to give him back his sexual mojo at the end of the episode.
There was another thread in this episode of Andre and Russell opening a wine bar together, but it was so uninteresting that I don’t really feel like spending time discussing it. Basically, Russell ropes Andre into putting up all the money to start a wine bar called Ménage à Cinq (five way) while he simultaneously rips him on the fantasy football message boards. The only two positives to come of this storyline were that Andre got to pick up all the Washington Redskins players that the others guys had to drop from their lineups, and that we were given this GIF:
Best One-Liners Of The Episode
• “Jenny Banger” – Jenny’s maiden name
• “Oh, come on, how could you be more emasculated than you are right now?” / “Yeah you’ve got a broke dick, your wife is champion, and she literally shit on your face” – Taco and Andre making fun of Kevin
• “I read an article in the New York Times that said they’re probably going to get rid of the penny, so the rest of the coins are probably not far behind. I don’t want to be the last person on my block carrying around that garbage.” – Taco after tossing his change on the ground
• “I just looked up ‘je ne sais quoi’ on Google translate–do you know that it means ‘man pussy’?” – Ruxin to Andre
• “Speaking of Russell, he sent us a little poll. Question, everyone: which will happen first, Andre gets laid or wins the Shiva?” / “Oh, I know the answer to that.” / “Not by his own hand, though.” / “Oh, then I’m out.” – Pete and Ruxin
• “I’m getting these nose bleeds. It’s like I’m bleeding once a month.” – Andre
• “What’s happening, Rux?” / “Eat shit, Rafi.” / “Already did, bro. Second harvest–delicious.” – Rafi and Ruxin
• “I shaped a lot of boys with these hands.” – Bruce Banger
• “Ménage à Cinq” – the name of Andre and Russell’s wine bar
• “Don’t worry, we’re cool guys. Our trophy is a little Indian girl. And if you win, you get to do whatever you want with her for a full year. She basically becomes your property. I kept her in the closet for a year, because honestly, I didn’t want to lose her.” – Taco trying to smooth things over with the Native Americans, but only making the situation worse
• “RAFI BOMB. Since I left you guys, I was tracking the bear most of the night. Didn’t get him. But I did find a big, fresh pile of shit that I thought I would second harvest because it was full of Hershey kisses. Spoiler alert: they weren’t Hershey kisses, it was just more shit. I ate it all, anyway. Got sick to my tummy. Puked. Pooped. Jerked off. And now I’m here with bros. What have you guys been up to?” – Rafi after finding the group the next morning
1. (1) Russell – Russell is still atop the rankings. This week, he gets his own wine bar at the expense of Andre. I still think the writers are going to give the beach house to Russell. It would complicate things too much to give it to any of the other cast members, and we all know the writers hate change.
2. (3) Taco – Taco now has so much money that he is just throwing away change. (I don’t have Taco’s money, but I agree: change sucks and it needs to go away) Still have no idea how his fantasy team is doing.
3. (2) Pete – I’m dropping Pete in the rankings because I just don’t have a good feel for him one way or the other. It just feels like a middle of the pack finish for Pete this year. He also got hogtied by Ruxin, which was pretty hilarious.
4. (6) Andre – Andre moves up this week because despite getting swindled into buying a wine bar, he did pick up some nice fantasy players for free. Combined with the draft help from Jay Glazer, I have to imagine he has a pretty good team.
5. (4) Jenny – Jenny makes another real estate deal and gets her husband back. How the reigning champion’s fantasy team is doing is anyone’s guess.
6. (5) Ruxin – Ruxin returns this week, but given his relative absence this year, there’s no way he wins the Shiva.
7. (7) Kevin – Kevin finally gets a victory this week, but I’m not moving him up yet. I need to see another consistent week of Kevin having some success in life or in fantasy football.
Prediction to win the Shiva: Taco
Prediction to win the Sacko: Kevin.