Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” Rewritten For People Struggling In Their Twenties: “Blank Check”

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There’s listening to Taylor Swift and then there’s listening to Taylor Swift so much that you start to turn the lyrics into your own life story. The result is your new postgrad anthem, guaranteed to make you never hear “Blank Space” the same again.

Had to have you
Way back when
“I could show you incredible things”
College, parties, and keg stands
Saw you there and I thought
Oh my god, that sounds great!
Didn’t realize you’d be my worst mistake
Then I signed my life away

No money, suit and tie
Will someone please just interview me?
Ain’t it funny, hopes were high
Now what the hell’s this economy?
So, hey, to all my friends
Word to the wise: it never ends
Grab your laptop and more ramen
Wanna hear a joke? You’re too poor for the weekend.

It’s probably gonna be forever
And it’s gonna go down in shame
My student loan bills are coming, yeahhh
Barely make more than minimum wage
Got a list of applications
Get in line with “bills to pay”
Rent, water, then Time Warner
And now Sallie Mae

Now we’re young and we’re hopeless
In debt? Yeah, way too far
It’ll leave you speechless, mmm
And with your junky car
Got a list of applications
Get in line with “bills to pay”
But I’ve got a blank check, Satan
And I’ll write your name

One day, news arrives
“I could show you incredible things”
Cubicles, giant lies
Half-ass pay with glass ceilings
Then I find out what you want
Be that girl for a month
Sell my soul for what’s to come
Oh, no

Pinterest, Facebook, then Twitter
Nothin’ to do, got time to burn
Coffee, me, both bitter
Just sitting at my desk all like
Oh my god, what do I see?
It seems the government can’t fund me
Two more months then forced to leave
This is a joke, right? You guys, it’s not funny!

It’s probably gonna be forever
And it’s gonna go down in shame
My student loan bills are coming, yeahhh
Barely make more than minimum wage
Got a list of applications
Get in line with “bills to pay”
Rent, water, then Time Warner
And now Sallie Mae

Now we’re young and we’re hopeless
In debt? Yeah, way too far
It’ll leave you speechless, mmm
And with your junky car
Got a list of applications
Get in line with “bills to pay”
But I’ve got a blank check, Satan
And I’ll write your name

Forty-thousand dollar debt and unemployed
Don’t say I can’t, say I can’t afford ya
Forty-thousand dollar debt and unemployed
Don’t say I can’t, say I can’t afford ya

It’s probably gonna be forever
And it’s gonna go down in shame
My student loan bills are coming, yeahhh
Barely make more than minimum wage
Got a list of applications
Get in line with “bills to pay”
Rent, water, then Time Warner
And now Sallie Mae

Now we’re young and we’re hopeless
In debt? Yeah, way too far
It’ll leave you speechless, mmm
And with your junky car
Got a list of applications
Get in line with “bills to pay”
But I’ve got a blank check, Satan
And I’ll write your name

My state gave you J. Law, Clooney, two-fifths of the Backstreet Boys, and multiple fifths of bourbon. I gave you a cover letter using Brian McKnight lyrics. Psuedo-adult by day; PGP, TFM, and TSM contributor by night. Please don't ask me to do math.

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