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The Worst Things The Worst People On House Hunters Have Ever Said

Sometimes, the internet opens its arms and welcomes you in as if to say “My child, you may not know me, but I know everything about you.” That happened to me Tuesday morning when I opened my texts and found a hyperlink: awfulpeopleonhousehunters.tumblr.com.

If you haven’t already guessed, it’s a Tumblr page featuring the horrible people that are almost always on HGTV’s flagship show/douche orgy, “House Hunters.” Seriously, I want to physically assault roughly 85 percent of the people on that show. It’s always a young couple that thinks you can get a 4,000-square foot, open concept, Victorian mansion with hardwood floors and a new kitchen for less than $300,000 dollars. They’re all horrible.

These are actual things said by actual people on HH:

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I’d love for my foot to meet your face.

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You look like a cesspool.

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You are everything wrong with America.

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Worst wedding ever.

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“It’s what we call ‘the former owners of the house were too poor to afford a real dining room table.'”

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Get a load of this guy.

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The ’90s were either very rough or very awesome for this gal.

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Someone who could afford hired help to do the dishes would never wear a top like that.

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Same. Don’t want an “I pissed in it first” situation on our hands.

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Would love to see these two go face first into a chain link fence.

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LOOK AT THE DOG.

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I hate your face, but not as much as I hate your tiny little mouth.

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Okay, this guy’s actually pretty cool.

I’d actually love to party with the guy who wants to put a pool table in his dining room, but outside of that, woof. May nature select you.

[via Tumblr]

H/T @Speck60

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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting inappropriately drunk in public.

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