Apparently, I’ve been missing one of the great experiences of life. We all know of the Freebie List from “Friends.” The American populace, generally, slobbers over celebrities like high school girls. There are cleat chasers, Hollywood celebrity tours, TMZ-esque shows, and many other forms of celebrity worship. I’m sure most people can think right now of a celebrity they’d mount without a second thought.
I’ve never really understood this. During an intense, semi-drunken conversation with a female friend of mine, I was asked why I didn’t have more celebrity crushes. Am I supposed to? As a guy? I can understand a woman’s point of view. Male celebrities have money, fame, power, accomplishments, and are more often than not objectively attractive. Everything on the XX chromosome checklist. I’m not sure this is the case with the majority of men. Other than fame, what separates celebrities from any one of us? They have just found a way to capitalize on their skills, hard work, and/or looks in a way that gained them notoriety.
Bringing this back to my point, as a guy, what’s the difference between an actress and a girl who is similarly good looking but has good career prospects as well? Objectively I mean. The fame? Who cares about the fame? You’re just so-and-so’s boyfriend and that lasts until the breakup. It holds no additional appeal, really, unless you use “I rebound banged Jennifer Aniston after the Brad Pitt breakup” as a pickup line. I’ll take a woman I find attractive regardless of her level of fame. Being starstruck is for followers.
And yet this still raises eyebrows with people. ‘Come on dude, get off your high horse and admit there are some celebrities you would never pass up.’ Well, of course, there are celebrities I find hot. Margot Robbie, Blake Lively, and Taylor Swift are the first come to mind. Yes, Taylor Swift. Kiss my grits, haters. All three are objectively attractive, but if I met someone equally attractive why would I have a reason to crush on Margot, Blake, or Tay?
Maybe beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Maybe I’m just crazy to overlook the allure of a celebrity. Maybe it’s something I need to experience before I judge, although the last celebrity I saw in person was Jeff Goldblum. Maybe I value myself higher than I do celebrities (a writer with an ego, shocker, am I right?). I never understood why I would be questioned over this, but it’s happened more than once. I assume I was asked because plenty of other guys must have celebrity crushes. Personally, I just care about what I do with my own life and we’ll just see what flies I can attract along the way. I’ll just ask Jeff Goldblum his thoughts the next time I pass him on the Santa Monica bike trail. Ian Malcolm always had solid insights. .
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