You’ve heard it a million times over and you won’t stop hearing it until you’re the one saying it about your kids — the younger generation is “entitled” and “lazy.” No matter how much we try to avoid it, proving yourself in the workplace is going to be an uphill battle until all those old fogies retire and let us take the reins.
Well, The Guardian spelled out the five most common workplace stereotypes about people born between 1980 and 1994, so pretty much everyone that’s out of undergrad and in the workforce. And honestly? The entire study made us all sound like pieces of shit.
1. Millennials set the bar too high because of a sense of entitlement.
“The millennials I know are not willing to settle for mediocre careers – they’re working hard to find work that they are passionate about, even if it means doing a boring low-paid job on the side,” said Sofia Niazi, 29, over a coffee in a small bookshop near Waterloo, London.
I mean, I think it’s more that people literally can’t afford to take jobs that can’t cover their rent, student loans, $125 iPhone bills, $4.50 daily coffees, $9 nightly bottles of wine, and all the Postmates delivery fees we’ve been stacking up. I mean, what’re we supposed to do? Live in poverty until we work our way up the corporate ladder like our parents did? Nah, I’m good.
2. Millennials are lazy.
When Joel Stein, an American journalist and a member of Gen X, penned his “Me Me Me Generation” column in Time magazine, he caused a stir. He wrote: “Millennials got so many participation trophies growing up that a recent study showed that 40% believe they should be promoted every two years, regardless of performance.”
Uh, hey Jole Stein, maybe you should take your head out of your ass, bro. Last time I checked, we weren’t sitting there at Track & Field Day giving participation ribbons to ourselves. That’s on you, hombre. I knew I sucked at the long toss but people like you kept telling me how great I was. Am I overly confident in most things I do in life? Yeah, of course, I am. But that’s because turds like you were too big of wimps to deal with me pouting when I didn’t podium in the high jump.
3. Millennials work to live rather than live to work.
As a student, Ann-Victoire Meillant co-wrote From Millennials with Love, a collection of experiences of her peers in the workplace. “What we found in our research and from contributors is that we didn’t like the phrase work/life balance, but instead were talking about work/life integration.”
Uh, yeah. You know why all these old motherfuckers are repping work-life balance? Because when they were pieces of shit interns like us, they didn’t have an iPhone that they were constantly strapped to when they could be called into the office at any given time of night.
But nope, not us. At the drop of a hat, we’re Uber’ing back to the office because of a casual text or email sent after-hours. Y’all were just sitting in dark bars like you were characters in Mad Men pretending to be tough guys while you worked exactly forty hours a week and nothing more.
4. Millennials are compulsive job-hoppers.
Just as millennials enter the workforce in greater numbers, there is a stack of literature characterising them as job-hopping, needy, deluded narcissists. Books such as Generation Me by Jean Twenge and Not Everyone Gets a Trophy by Bruce Tulgan suggest that millennials are the worst possible employees.
Sure, okay, we’ll take the blame for everything, won’t we? Get out of here with that “worst possible employee” garbage. What’re we supposed to do, stay at a company for 45 years and collect that gold watch at our retirement party? That sounds miserable. Variety is the spice of life which is why I mix in some salads and burrito bowls whenever I head to Chipotle for dinner.
5. Millennials have little time for experienced colleagues.
Other things millennials value in the workplace are “reverse mentoring” – the opportunity to teach skills to older colleagues as well as learn from them – and more time spent discussing new ways of working, mentoring and developing leadership skills.
Why do I get the feeling that this “reverse mentoring” is really just us telling the old people how to use their computers and set up their personal emails on their iPhones so they can forward us right-wing political chain emails that we’ll immediately delete? You don’t see me asking anyone how to send faxes, do you?
Get out of my face, Guardian. .
[via The Guardian]
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