A Guy’s Perspective On The 6 Best Places To Have Sex In The Office

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A Guy's Perspective On The 6 Best Places Have Sex In The Office

Temps is now available! Temps follows Jefferson (Grant Rosenmeyer, The Royal Tenenbaums), a temp worker whose only career goal is to afford an annual ski trip with his best friend and fellow temp, Curtis (Reid Ewing, Modern Family). When Jefferson falls for co-worker Stephanie (Lindsey Shaw, Pretty Little Liars), an ambitious go-getter, he is forced to re-evaluate his minimum wage, minimum commitment lifestyle. Produced by Grandex Productions, Temps is now out in select theaters and video-on-demand platforms.

We’re all human, which means we all have needs. Some of those needs are three-day weekends and health insurance. But other needs include blowing off some steam by romping in the sack. Unfortunately, you spend 9+ hours a day in the office which means you have to get creative from time-to-time.

Enter: office sex. Sure, it’s a bit reckless. And sure, you’ll probably immediately get fired if you get caught. But what the hell else are you supposed to do when you’re all riled up? Go home for lunch and take care of it yourself? Nah. Just wait until everyone leaves and live on the edge in all the right places.

1. Her Desk

Do you really want to have sex on your desk and risk having to re-do work for fear of messing it up? You probably spend half of your day trying not to spill coffee on your keyboard, so fucking your desk up with two bodies contorting themselves into uncomfortable positions? Besides, her office chair has taken less of a beating than yours has because she actually takes care of herself.

2. Janitor’s Closet

Unless you’ve got the confidence of a lion, there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that you’re doing this during the day. If you are, you’ve only got one move — the janitor’s closet. Where else can you get away from your coworkers without climbing to the roof? Where else do you not have to clean up after yourself? Where else is it pitch black? Exactly.

3. Your Boss’s Office

Revenge is a bitch, and so is your boss. So wait until your boss leaves early on Friday, pretend to put in a little extra time, and get some nookie where your boss would least expect it. Besides, if you’re going to get fired for slamming in the office, at least go out with a bang — literally and figuratively.

4. HR’s Office

HR is always on your ass whenever you’re at the office, so why not get on someone else’s in HR’s office? It’s a win-win situation and the danger of getting caught could not be higher which is thrilling.

5. Ladies Room

First off, girls don’t poop. Everyone knows that, so everyone knows that their bathroom smells like a bed of roses.

Secondly, they don’t have a bunch of savages missing the toilet with every pee they take, so the general vicinity is just generally cleaner which even she’ll appreciate. And who said men are selfish lovers?

6. Your Car During Lunch

Sometimes you’ve gotta let off some steam in the middle of the day, and sometimes you have to go off the premises. Hop in that car, drive to an empty parking lot, get your rocks off, and hit the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru afterwards. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am.

You know who else couldn’t keep their minds off sex in the office? Grant and Stephanie from Temps which is available for rent on iTunes now. See for yourself.

Rent it now, you won’t regret it.

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