Do people still use eBay? That’s a serious question. I was under the impression that eBay went the way of Ask Jeeves and Napster. Turns out I’m wrong. eBay is alive and kicking. In fact, I just went to the site, started to type in “girlfriend,” eBay suggested “girlfriend pictures,” and boom, I just bought an 11×14 picture of Selena Gomez in a bikini for $9.95.
Turns out if I went to eBay last week and searched for a wife, I could have bought one of those.
A husband prankster… posted a picture of long-suffering Leandra alongside a tongue-in-cheek ad detailing his reasons for selling her and the pros and cons of the ‘purchase’. These included her ‘decent bodywork and skills in the kitchen’ and describing her as ‘not new has been used but still got some good miles left in her.’ Motorbike enthusiast Mr O’Kane, from Wakefield, Yorkshire, put his wife up for sale at around 10pm on Wednesday after claiming she was unsympathetic when he moaned about feeling unwell. The 33-year-old was stunned when bids hit £65,880 within two days – though she ‘wanted to kill him’ when she discovered the next day that she was ‘for sale’.
Jiminy fucking crickets! That’s how much a wife goes for these days? I turn my phone off when Verizon warns that I’m at 90% of my data limit for fear of paying the $15 data overage charge. I mean I still get extra guac at Chipotle (I’m not a waif), but I certainly don’t have wife money floating around. I’m honestly just glad I found out what a wife costs now. I’m still relatively young; instead of planning on getting married I’ll take up some hobbies I’ve always wanted to, like crocheting.
Seeing a bid for a wife push six figures had me assuming this woman was forest fire hot status. Helen of Troy. Daily Mail UK had a ton of pictures of her in their write-up and she is very nice looking woman. She is objectively cute, don’t get me wrong. I still would. But if she’s fetching $85K, what would Emily Ratajkowski go for on the open market? Scrooge McDuck couldn’t even afford her! They haven’t even printed that kind of money yet.
For bids to push $85K, O’Kane must have written some Shakespearean sonnet type shit waxing poetic about all his wife’s virtues, and her *cough* abilities. But to be honest, he didn’t really sell her up that much.
‘For sale one wife. Not new has been used but still got some good miles left in her. Reason for selling* I’ve had my fill and feel like there HAS to be someone me (oh dear God please let there be).Good points: Body work and paint work still in decent shape and has some skills in the kitchen. Bad points: Often makes this noise that cannot be silenced unless you order brand new shiny parts of metal. Sometimes them skills in the kitchen result in you ending up in hospital. All in all not a bad model for the year, I’m sure some lucky guy will get lots of use. Offers welcome, may consider a part exchange for a younger model. *T&Cs: Once bought you cannot return* EVER!’
Someone saw a decent photo of a 27-year old woman with the above description and actually bid $85,000 dollars for her. What a time to be alive. Sidebar – British people write wicked funny. Riveting language.
Looks like Leandra had a sense of humor about the whole thing. She said she got pretty pissed off when her coworkers found out about the posting, and as punishment, she’s taking her hubbies bank card and buying a Mulberry bag, though I think she’s setting the bar too low because it looks like she’s worth 40 Mulberry bags..
[via Daily Mail UK]