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A Dude With A Massive Dildo Is Harassing New York City Subway Riders

A Dude With a Massive Dildo Is Harassing New York City Subway Riders
Commuting in New York City is a fucking nightmare. Unless you live close enough to your job where you can walk or take a car service (Congratu-fucking-lations, Mr. Rockefeller), you’re going to end up on the Subway. Yes, the rat-infested, piss-covered metal coffins filled with condoms tied to poles and basically serve as a homeless hostel. The last thing we need is an asshole waving giant dildos at people.

Yeah, you heard that right. There’s a dude on the subway that’s possibly tweaked out on drugs and waving giant black dildos at passengers. This guy got on a 2 Train at Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn, “fucked up on some kind of drug,” according to eye-witnesses, and was apparently spotted decked out in all New York Knicks paraphernalia; sadly, this isn’t even slightly the most embarrassing thing to happen to the Knicks this season. When passengers started making fun of him and taking selfies with him, that’s when he whipped it out.

Per Animal New York:

“the man then started waving the big black dong around, pointing it at people and pretending to jerk it off. The man also kept standing up and clenching his butt cheeks. Then he really got into it: Every time the train pulled into a station, he’d put the dildo away, sit quietly, let people board, then whip it out and wave it around, startling the new passengers.”

Of course, New Yorkers are well-trained to just ignore bullshit. Look at this woman who was sitting next to the lunatic. Stone-faced. Didn’t even look at him. Witnesses said she just sat there, ignored him, and got off at her stop, which is, according to most law enforcement officials, the best way to deal with crazy people on the subway.

Look, I’m all for people embracing their love of giant dildos, what you do on your own time is your business, and I’m not entirely convinced that this guy isn’t my biological father, but come on, man. Commuting sucks enough. Don’t make it any worse, you fucking prick.

[via Animal New York]

Image via littleny / Shutterstock.com

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