A Bunch Of Rejected Titles For A 20-Something Girl’s Book

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A Bunch Of Rejected Titles For A 20-Something Girl's Book

The other day I tweeted this gem of a thought:

And while it was not only meant to be funny and hopefully rack up some faves, I genuinely think it’s true. If you aren’t obsessed with getting more Twitter or Instagram followers, it’s probably because you’re busy being offline, and yes, I fully recognize that you are better than the rest of us who are developing carpal tunnel in our wrists from typing all the time. If you aren’t working on a book proposal, it’s probably because you don’t have any ideas. If you aren’t hungover well… good for you.

But me? I’m (almost) always working on all three. I am a shameless self-promoter when it comes to all social media, even my Instagram which I admittedly suck at. I fully check my Snapchat stats even though I don’t know what they mean. I think it is sacrilegious to not drink at brunch, and I am absolutely the kid who says, “I’m not really drinking tonight so I’ll just have a beer.”

And oh, yeah. I’m working on a book. Don’t worry. I’ll be sure to point you all to Amazon as soon as I am able.

But in writing a book, I’ve been faced with the hardest part. And no, that’s not actually getting it written although that is very daunting. That hardest part, my friends, is the title. A title is a tricky thing and can make or break your piece. We all can say, “Don’t judge a book by its cover” but that doesn’t mean we won’t. And what’s the main focus and part of the cover? The title.

While there are so many lonely abandoned fashion and food blogs out there like Calories and Cardigans or Basic Bitches and Brunch, there are also abandoned “quirky” book titles. They hit the deck never to see the shopping cart on a Kindle screen ever. Farewell, almost-titles. I’ll only miss you a little.

Dear Mom & Dad, Don’t Read This And Also Sorry

I’m Only Here For The Open Bar

I Think I Recognize You From Tinder

All Of The Drunk Texts I Never Should Have Sent

Yeah…I’m Funnier On Twitter

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

Netflix And Deeply Unchill

Your Mom (probably hated me)

Never Have I Ev…Wait I Take That Back Yes I Have

Sorry For Stealing Your In & Out When I Was Drunk

Sorry For What I Said When I Was Drunk

Sorry. Just Sorry.

All Of The Good Ones Are Gay

What’s Your Wifi Password? A Millennial’s Journey To Never Pay For Internet

I Can’t Wait For My Exes To Panic When They See This

Parties, Postmates, And Plan B

And while those titles may be up for grabs, you’ll have to stay tuned for the actual title! Now where’s that beer…

Image via Unsplash

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