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A Bunch Of People Divulged The Most NSFW Things They’ve Ever Seen At Work

A Bunch Of People Divulged The Most NSFW Things They've Ever Seen At Work On Reddit

I’m under the impression that people are more apt to click something at work that’s tagged “NSFW” than they are at their house, purely because we’re all 1. bored out of our skulls and 2. we like living on the edge. We can all act like we never stray away into the dark depths of the internet when we’re at work, but the fact of the matter is that we all watch The Masters, March Madness, and the occasional deFries live blog while alt-tabbing to a spreadsheet whenever you hear the bossman coming around. But sometimes NSFW things exist outside of our screens and in the workplace themselves which creates a whole new monster of uncomfortableness, as evidenced by a thread on Reddit — What is the most NSFW thing you have ever seen or experienced while at work?

Yeah, yeah yeah, I know. “If you wanted to read Reddit, you’d go to Reddit.” I get it.

Worked at Babies R Us and this woman puts her baby down on a dresser with a table (it was for show, not to use) and she started to change her babies nasty diaper and got shit all over the dresser.

She then goes to our furniture desk (where we order it) sit down and starts breast feeding. Not 30 seconds go by and these 3 teenagers walk around the corner and of course they look. She goes off on them cussing and calling them perverts.

(We have a room in the back with couches and tables for this kind of stuff.)

Say what you want, but that’s just disgusting. I understand kids need to eat and shit just like the rest of us, but what type of psycho does that in the middle of a Babies R Us? But real talk, why were there 3 teenagers walking around Babies R Us in the first place?

Worked at a strip club for 2 years in college (I’m a guy).

— Managers would fuck the girls in the office sometimes or get head from them under the desk and in exchange waive their house fees.
— I’ve seen NFL players throw up all over the bar
— I’ve heard sex countless times in the VIP area (not an uncommon thing).
— I’ve had to clean up jizz and condoms from the VIP (I got paid well)
— I’ve seen a stripper passed out in her own puke and for some reason a tampon was also in the puke.
— I’ve seen dancers fall asleep while dancing and grinding on the pole (pill heads)
— Titties, lots of Titties. Happy ones, sad ones, little ones, big ones, real ones, fakes ones.
— Customers doing blow and pills out in the open.. if you were a regular, you do what you want.

I’d say this is surprising, but we know strip clubs turn people into wildmen as evidenced by What Your Strip Club Behavior Says About You.

I watched a nurse pull wads of crumpled up money and bath salts out of a guy’s butt and had a drunk girl throw a used tampon at me… Working in an ER tho isn’t fair for this subject. Also where’s my sex and bj’s at work?

Hold on, who crumples up money and puts it in their butt?

I used to work for a catering company that did on-site food preparation, serving, and so forth — so many of my workdays there were spent at people’s houses while they had parties.

Lots of NSFW stuff, but the one that really stuck with me was when a teenage girl did a ‘dance recital’ at her uncle’s birthday party. Nothing so creepy as a scantily clad 15 year old dry humping the air while all of her male relatives stand around wolf whistling.

Okay, that’s just uncomfortable. Whatever happened to bouncy houses and pin the tail on the donkey?

People pooping in the fitting rooms. Happens more than you’d think.

What? And I thought people peeing in the showers at the gym was disgusting.

Horse barn i used to work at, went into a back field to get horses, caught a guy fucking a horse. That was his last day working there.

Did he get fired, quit, or retire? Learn how to tell a story, man.

Was in the local newspaper about 15-20 years ago. This 16 yr old kid was working at a gas station late at night. (I think like 10 or 11pm).

This lady comes in, flirts heavily with him and leaves, comes back the next night, flirts some more and eventually gives him a blow job in the back. She may have done this a second or third time, I can’t quite remember.

At any rate, the 16 yr old boy brags to his friends at school about this 30-40 yr old lady that is coming in late at night to give him blow jobs. The story goes round a bit, and somehow his mother catches wind of it. Freaks out that some “lady” is basically raping her son.

She calls the police, files a report, they haul the kid down, he has to give a statement and a description, and the next night the police are waiting, when this lady shows up again to give this kid some head. They arrest her and take her to the station, only to find out that she….. is actually a he….

It was a dude in drag that wanted to suck off teen boys.

yeah, so much for his bragging rights.

I… I don’t want to live in this world anymore. This sounds like a plotline from Shameless.

I worked at waffle house, went outside to have ciggarette on two separate occasions seen a couple fucking in their car in the parking lot. The first time was a co worker it was at night she came back in sweaty, hair matted, went straight to the bathroom. The second time was at like 10 am, no tinted windows, chick was just furiously riding that cowboy like no tomorrow. I just shook my head both times, didnt know what to say or do or if i should say or do anything.

I feel like this is a relatively tame Waffle House story, all things considered. You couldn’t pay me to do a sweep of any given Waffle House with a blacklight.

Working at Leeds United, once caught two teenagers shagging on a piano behind a half drawn curtain in the banqueting hall (it was their prom I think)

This was purely included because reading it in a British accent is hilarious. And I now need to add “shagging on a piano” to my bucket list.

I work at a ritzy gym as a locker room attendant and our gym offers extra amenities like massages and shit. One afternoon my coworker, who’s a massage therapist, asks me to help her with something. Apparently a member of the club had taken a shit on the massage table. Luckily we cover the table with fresh linens for each appointment so all it took was a load of laundry to fix. Never found the culprit.

Y’all need to stop pooping everywhere. I would’ve found that person and killed ’em.

At the Ymca where I work, this couple (both over 60) were dry… I guess wet humping… in the hot tub

Hey, no matter the age, everyone’s gotta get theirs. And I’d ask who still dry humps, but we already know the answer to that.

I worked at a nice restaurant in Times Square. Things that come to mind:

— Drunken guests pissing all over our host stand

— Employees having a threesome in the handicapped bathroom

— One night an elderly couple was having dinner at a table by the window. A hobo decided to stop right in front of that window, pull his pants down, press his ass against the glass and take a wet shit, leaving a streak of brown dripping down the side of the building and onto the sidewalk. I have a picture of the shit, but it’s not very interesting.

Not exactly what I envision when I imagine Taylor Swift’s “Welcome To New York” in my head, but in reality, most of New York smells like piss and shit so this isn’t all that surprising.

To read the entire thread, look no further than Ask Reddit.

[via Reddit]

Image via Shutterstock

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