My dating app photos went in this order: me as the centerpiece with a bunch of my guy friends, me with my mom, me at a Kid Rock concert wearing a tanktop, and me pre-wedding with a girl I took as a plus-one (that I wasn’t dating).
Huuuuuuuuuge mistakes all around. Group photos? Nah, too confusing. With my mom? Look softer, man. At a Kid Rock concert? Well, I’ll stand by that one until I’m dead. But with a girl who I wasn’t dating dressed to the nines? That’s just asking for trouble and left swipes.
Hinge, noted dating app that is neither Bumble or Tinder, put together a shitton of information regarding what works and what doesn’t work when it comes to which photos you choose. And it’s important we break this down so you can live your best life surrounded by good-looking people who don’t hate you.
Hinge first included their best and worst photo practices, which included:
+75% Participating in sports
+74% Enjoying a night out
+23% Showing your smile
-41% Wearing Sunglasses
-90% Using Snapchat filters
-98% Posing with a possible significant other
This should thoroughly explain why every guy you see has a photo of him holding a trout that he wouldn’t have caught without a guide, and why every girl you come across is chucking a deuce atop a mountain that she only climbed for the Instagram. What it doesn’t explain is why every single girl still has the puppy filter up despite its negative effect (or why it even makes them somehow look hotter in the first place).
The best photo practices for women, however, confuse me a bit.
Wear hair up.
You’re 27% more likely to receive a like.
Smile with teeth.
You’re 76% more likely to receive a like.
You’re 74% more likely to receive a like.
You’re 69% more likely to receive a like.
I get it – wearing your hair up puts out a “I’m a junior associate at an architecture firm who looks straight out of a romantic comedy,” and at the end of the day, that’s all we’re really looking for. The whole smiling with teeth / looking away / standing alone single-handedly explains why when she asks you to take a photo of her, she laughs extra hard at your jokes in between legitimate poses while simply hoping that you get a photo of her mid-laugh. It’s the best way to look candid and casual even though it’s phony and forced. But guys can’t really talk since every one of their golf swings completely changes if they know there’s an iPhone pointed in their general direction.
Conversely, the best photo practices for men are actually flipped. You’re 43% more likely to get a like if you’re smiling without teeth than you are with, 102% more likely to receive a like if you’re looking ahead rather than looking away, and 11% more likely to get a like if you’re standing alone rather than with a group.
If anyone abides by the swipe method I went by, it was “pray she’s the hottest one in the group photo only to get let down when she’s the one standing in the back.” Classic mix-ups left and right with me swiping right just hoping that maybe she can intro me to her friends. Standing alone is 100% the move, and if the advice I got from my girl friends told me anything, it was to never ever have another girl in the photo even if it’s your sister. Death sentence.
You know how sex on the beach seems like a good idea but ends up being a terrible decision because one person is picking sand out of their body for the next 48 hours? Well, same goes for photos on the beach. Women are 47% less likely to receive a like on a beach photo while men are 80% less likely to receive a like on a beach photo. This is all extremely defeating considering my “if you can’t tan it, tone it” method.
Based on average photos for each gender, women are 166% more likely to receive a like on a sportsy photo while men are 45% more likely to receive a like. Here’s your guide for which sports to include as judged by me with no statistical backing:
Women: Hiking, yoga, spinning, biking, beach volleyball, running, jogging, dog-walking, literally anything.
Men: Stop. posting. mirror. selfies. from. the. gym.
While 80% of Hinge’s photos are posed, candid photos are 15% more likely to receive a like. But with that being said, you’ll never actually convince me that any photos are ever actually candid. Claiming that a photo of you laughing at a lame joke the photographer said is almost as bad as hashtagging #nofilter on a sunset photo. Almost as bad, I said, because nothing is worse than hashtagging something with #nofilter. Get an aesthetic and own it, losers.
Stop fucking taking selfies. I shouldn’t have to give you stats to back this up, but here we are. You’re 40% less likely to receive a like if you’re tossing up selfies, and 90% less likely if you’re tossing up bathroom selfies. So those cutesy photos you’re taking in the bathroom mirror? Yeah, they’re just as bad as gym selfies if not worse.
Black & White
Michael Jackson once said, “It don’t matter if you’re black or white,” but he also never had to resort to online dating apps. There’s an off-color joke to be made here but I’ll leave that to the comment section.
While only 3% of photos are black and white, black and white photos are 106% more likely to receive a like than compared to color photos. I don’t even know how those numbers work because I haven’t taken a math class in a decade, but I believe anything on the internet so please accept this as fact. Maybe it’s because people think you’re artsy or maybe it covers up your blemishes.
As far as I’m concerned, we’re probably overthinking this entire thing and we’re about three years removed from the human version of #nofilter by using #nofacetune. Sad. .