A Basic Bro’s Pumpkin Beer Review

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A Basic Bro's Pumpkin Beer Review

So basically these past few weeks I’ve been going full steam with the pumpkin craze. I’m talking pumpkin pies, pumpkin dump cakes, pumpkin bread, and most importantly pumpkin beer. We’ve all seen some reviews of different pumpkin beers, but I don’t know if I can really relate to the guy who just drinks one or two at a time and writes a nice review over a respectable amount of time. I’m more of the type of guy who drinks at least eight or nine and wakes up with a pumpkin induced headache. So this raw unfiltered review is for the like minded basic bros who like to have a good time. Here goes nothing.

1. Devils Backbone Brewing Company
Pumpkin Hunter 5.1% ABV

First of all, this label is fucking awesome. It’s some headless dude riding a bear through some crazy pumpkin patch. I’m not going to lie, I bought this strictly because of the label. On a scale of one to pumpkin explosion in my mouth, I’d give it a solid five. It’s a pretty light beer, so I could see myself putting back a sixer of these pretty easily. Actually, I’d probably drink this beer just because of the label. It’s seriously fucking awesome. Tonight, I will be the pumpkin hunter.

4.5/5 pumpkins.

My girlfriend is along for the ride with me tonight and we realized that this is going to take too long if we sip these beers like adults so we decided bring it back to 2009 when chugging from bottles with a straw was cool. That’s what we’re doing now to speed this up a bit.

And now I’m smoking to clear my palate.

2. DuClaw Brewing Co.
31 Pumpkin Spice Lager 5.7% ABV

HOLY VANILLA! This beer is a little heavier than the pumpkin hunter, but it’s got a massive amount of vanilla flavor. A pretty good beer overall, but unfortunately, the vanilla seems to overpower the pumpkin. And being the basic bro that I am, I came here for two things and two things only: pumpkin and to get drunk. I have a feeling I’m going to get hammered tonight and hate my life tomorrow. But right now it’s time to chug this carbonated vanilla brew and move on to the next on.

2/5 pumpkins

3. Anderson Valley Brewing Co.
Fall Hornin’ Pumpkin Ale 6.0% ABV

This beer at least has some fucking pumpkin in it. Also, another solid label. It’s this chill bear drinking out of a tranquil lake with a forest silhouette against an orange autumn sky and the bear has a huge rack (antlers, you pervs… grow up). It’s got a good balance of pumpkin and spice which makes it nice. Also the 6.0 ABV is appreciated.

My buddy Manny just showed up, and he’s embarking on this pumpkin beer binge with us. We all are in agreeance that half of all new beer and wine purchases are because of the label. Solid ABV, solid label, solid beer.

3.5/5 pumpkins

4. Lancaster Brewing Co.
Baked Pumpkin Ale 7.5 % ABV

Manny: “It actually tastes like pumpkin pie. I enjoy it.”

Shibby: “UGGHHHH, it’s so fucking good. It literally tastes like a pumpkin pie was shoved inside a bottle.”

Shibby’s girlfriend: “Wow. It tastes exactly like this pumpkin dip my mom makes. Cool whip + pumpkin mix = this beer.”

Overall consensus: This is liquid pumpkin pie. Also on a side note, this beer could easily creep up on you when drinking socially because of the 7.5% ABV but also the sheer drinkability of this beer.

We are now discussing the obvious fact that Manny and I should 100% both be full time coaches. It has got to be one of the coolest jobs in the world. For as good as this beer tastes, I am not drinking it as fast as I should be. P.S. The man zone defense in lacrosse is a great concept. #SoberAsSarkisian

5/5 Pumpkins

5. Dogfish Head Craft Brewery Inc.
Punkin Ale 7.0% ABV

I’m starting to get buzzed, so please excuse any spelling errors from here on out. Hopefully, the editors pick most of them up, but please know I’m a better writer that what you may read here. We picked this beer because I’m from MD now in DE and Manny is from DE and now in MD. Dogfish and Old Bay are both things we can agree upon. Punkin, with an N, is the right word for this beer because the pumpkin doesn’t necessarily shine through as well as some other beers, but I see where Dogfish is going with this. Dogfish is a pretty big name in the craft beer game, so you can’t really go wrong with it. A lot of people will buy it just based on the “Dogfish” name, but it’s not the best pumpkin beer I’ve ever had.

3/5 Pumpkins

6. TurtleHeadin’ Blumpkin
Pumpkinfest 5.5% ABV and Liquid Bliss Chocolate PB Porter 6.1% ABV

I’ve officially passed the computer to my girlfriend aka official secretary. I honestly don’t have the attention span anymore. However, she has been drinking right along side of me up until now and she can type way faster than me.

It’s a good flavor combo. Plus terrapin doesn’t disappoint as a brewery. This combination of chocolate and pumpkin make it so easy to drink. It has the body and color of a stout but the flavor of the pumpkin ale shines through enough for a perfect flavor combination. It’s hard for me to admit Georgia is great at something but I have to give credit where it’s due. At least as a Marylander I can say I support the Terrapins now right? Get a blumpkin. I’m not gonna lie, I’m starting to feel the 5+ % ABV

5/5 pumpkins

7. Souther Tier Brewing Company
Blackwater Series Warlock Imperial Stout 10.0% ABV

Full body, moderate bitters, and pairs well with spicy bbq, smoked foods, and carrot cake. Best served in a goblet but we’re drinking out of pint glasses. I won’t even lie, I read all of that off the label. But the ten percent ABV, fuck yea. Manny has confirmed that this is, “a delicious beer and there is no need to remember that.” My girlfriend says it tastes like, “Fall flavored cough medicine.” I’d partially agree and say this is exactly the medicine I need. It definitely tastes like a stout but with pumpkin qualities. Very similar to the DuClaw 31 but with more pumpkin and nearly twice the booze content.

4/5 pumpkins

8. Samuel Adams
Fat Jack 8.5% ABV

Manny has called an Uber home, and this is the last beer we will all be rating together. PGP. Manny says, “I enjoy it.” I asked him to elaborate more, “Okay a second. It’s crisp *weird cough* that’s all.” Now the Uber has taken him after planning a double date at a pumpkin patch. Are we really this basic? Sadly, yes… yes we are.

As far as the beer goes… it’s pretty good. Not as light as some other beers but still a nice flavor. I’m fairly buzzed, and it’s 3:53 a.m. and I’m not sure if my neighbors will ever complain about my Sonos going. Once again, the above average ABV is appreciated. I don’t think I’ll make it much further tonight, maybe this can be a two part series… You want more let me know in the comments.

3.3/5 Pumpkins

9. Harpoon Brewery
UFO Unfiltered Pumpkin Ale 5.90% ABV

I know now that I will not make it passed this beer. Sorry if I let you down, but you can read my schedule above and let me know how you do…. Actually, I encourage you all to try this list with your friends and see if this was on point. Maybe you’ll even unlock a new Untappd achievement.

Between handfuls of popcorn, I am able to identify that this is a pumpkin beer and it tastes wheat-y. Let us clarify that this is an ale so it shouldn’t taste particularly wheaty, but whatever. Nothing really bad sticks out about this beer, but nothing really shines either. If you’re into the whole unfiltered thing, then maybe this one has an extra edge; but I don’t really see the point of having dead yeast floating around my cup. Round 2 coming soon. Unless of course PGP fires my ass and I can no longer fund these escapades.

Chugging my UFO beer, Cheers. I’m going to bed. PGP.

3/5 Pumpkins

Image via Shutterstock

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