We made it. I know it felt like the last two years would never end and we’d spend the rest of our lives forced to listen to argument after argument, but this far too long election is finally over. Before the dust really settles and we start to get more finger pointing and even some 2020 candidates popping up, here are 9 ways you can spend November 9 cleansing your palette of all things politics.
1. Binge watch Armageddon/Independence Day/Apollo 13: Bruce Willis laying down his life so a young Ben Affleck can have a planet to fly back to and keep banging his daughter on, Bill Pullman giving one of the best Presidential speeches of our time while Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum play Top Gun with aliens, and Tom Hanks and Ed Harris spending billions of taxpayer money just do to a flyover of the moon. Three solid movies that accentuate America’s ability to thrive in any kind of crisis you throw us in, all without ever mentioning which party is holding the reins at the time.
2. Volunteer at an Animal Shelter: We’ve seen total strangers become hostile to one another solely because of one opinion they know they disagree on. Escape all this rampant negativity and anger and spend some time with some creatures that will use all their energy to let you know how excited they are to have you in their presence as soon as you walk in the door. Puppies don’t care who you voted for; they just want a head scratch.
3. Renew your Passport: Whether your candidate won or lost, or even if you never pick a destination, it’ll be comforting knowing that if shit hits the fan or if you want to take your victory celebrations out into the very lax areas of international law, you’ve got a current passport to streamline you to getting the hell out of here.
4. BYOB Pot Luck: Regardless of celebration or mourning, nobody likes to drink alone, and no one likes to pay the full tab either. Call some friends, tell them to pick up whatever is cheap and drinkable, and settle in for a night of reliving the last time you downed an entire bottle of Maker’s by yourself, back when the only President you had any opinion on electing was throwing up at the tailgate next to you.
5. Take a hike/Hit the Gym: If you have the ability I definitely encourage you to go find the woodsiest jogging trail or park or actual forest you can and just get lost for a couple hours. Remind yourself that there’s an entire beautiful natural world in America that has nothing to do with this election. If you can’t get outside the city, find a gym and get a good long sweat in to detox all the stress this nonsense has unknowingly been weighing you down with.
6. Go watch Home Movies with Mom and Dad: If your parents live close enough, drive home and spend the evening watching some home movies. It’ll be a good escape to take some time remembering when you were more concerned with numbers of MySpace friends than numbers of electorates. Plus mom and dad have been through a lot more than you have. They’ll reassure you the world isn’t really coming to an end. If they’re too far away, have them throw up some candid photos from back in the day and reminisce for a little while about that Halloween costume you didn’t take off until after New Year’s Day.
7. Add all the relatives back to Social Media that you deleted: I know, it seems counter productive when we’re trying to escape the election to reintroduce people to your life that you removed because they couldn’t stop hitting share on every political piece they found. But holiday season is approaching and you’re going to have to listen to Uncle Stan’s conspiracy theories while he open mouthed gulps down all the dark meat turkey anyway, so you might as well slowly expose yourself to all the craziness now instead of getting blindsided by his latest “news article,” when you see him at Thanksgiving. Plus, it’ll take some stress off your mom’s back because Aunt Joyce will stop asking her every time she calls why your Uncle Jack can see you on “The Facebook,” but she can’t.
8. Create something: Whatever your creation for the world is, whether you draw/paint, break out a guitar every once in a while, write, have a whole room of furniture in the house you made yourself, or put together a killer recipe from time to time, take today and create something. Put something out there that is totally your own, and is in no way affiliated with politics or the election.
9. Window shop for new jobs: Whenever all the day to day bears down on me a little too much up at work, I like to browse the job listings in my field and just see what’s out there. Find an opening for that dream title you’ve been searching for in Denver and daydream for a little bit about what it’d be like to land it. Maybe go so far as to attach your resume to an exploratory email and contemplate hitting send for a few minutes.
Whatever you do today, devote some time to unplug and destress a little. The past two years has been stressful for everyone no matter how hard you might have tried to avoid all of it. Forget about everything that’s happened and everything that lies ahead for a few hours and remember that this is still America, and no matter who’s in charge we’ve still got it better than anywhere else. God Bless the USA..
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