Once you leave college, pretty much everything you thought you knew about dating changes–and it is ridiculously annoying. However, you can choose to embrace it. I’ve opted for the latter, and really, I’m over being expected to live up to these “rules” of dating in the real world. I’m 25, and I’m going to live my life however I want.
1. Don’t call or text for three days after a date.
Seriously? If you wait three days–hell, three hours–to text me after a date, I’m probably going to assume you’re not interested. If you’re not interested, it’s okay. I’ll recover. I promise. And if you weren’t interested, chances are I wasn’t either.
2. Always pay on the first date.
Dating can be annoying. And expensive. I’ll always offer to pay for my half on a first date–I’ll probably even offer twice. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take notice and appreciate you for paying for my meal. I just won’t ever understand how men always paying on the first date can be a dealbreaker for some women.
3. Don’t share too much too early.
This is ridiculous. Why not lay it all out there and be honest and open? Seriously. If there’s something you think would cause the potential relationship to combust, why not get that out of the way sooner rather than later? I’m not waiting until three months in to share something that may upset you, and I’d expect the same thing from you. If you can’t accept me for who I am, aren’t we both wasting our time?
4. Don’t bring up old relationships.
I’m legitimately curious as to what happened in your previous relationships. How long were they? Why did they end? Do you still speak to any of your ex-boyfriends? Why or why not? How have your relationships changed the way you view dating now? All of this is important information, and it can help me get to know you better.
5. Only accept dates for Friday before Wednesday.
You know who follows this rule? People who stay home on Friday nights.
6. Eat lightly on a first date.
Puh-lease. I’ll eat what I want. I’m definitely not ordering a salad on a first date. I’d hate to give you the wrong impression of what I’m really like.
7. Agree with everything your date says.
This sounds terribly boring, doesn’t it? I mean, I wouldn’t want to get into a blow-up fight with you, but if we disagree on something, it would be interesting to share our ideas and opinions.
8. Break up if you argue.
Granted, you shouldn’t ignore the red flags that you may notice early in your relationship. However, if you broke up with someone every time you argued, I feel like you’d go through relationship after relationship–if you could really call them that. Having conversation, debate, and dialogue will never, ever stop being important, no matter what stage of a relationship.
9. Abide by a standard relationship timeline.
Fuck this. If it makes sense to you, do it. Forget the rest.