Columns

8 Reasons Perpetually Single Women Stay Single

Screen Shot 2014-05-27 at 9.52.55 AM

I cannot remember the last time I logged into any social media website and some girl wasn’t complaining about being single. The complainers are hardly ever girls who have had real relationships in the past–they’re almost always the same girls over and over who can’t seem to last more than a few months with a guy. I’ve known several girls like this, and there are very obvious reasons why their relationships don’t last. It’s almost always one or a combination of the following reasons that keep these girls single.

1. They change their minds on big things too late in the relationship.

I get it. Women are notorious for changing their minds on the fly when they have doubts about certain decisions, usually if things don’t seem to be going the way they envisioned. When they are small things, such as what to wear, where to go for dinner, or even what to do for New Year’s Eve, mind changing is not a deal breaker. In fact, it’s even a cute quirk as long as it stays in check. It might tick off a guy, but it’s bound to happen and we can roll with the punches. However, when women start changing their minds about major things within the relationship, that’s when problems start. Let’s say a guy and a girl have been dating for four months and they have been sleeping together for the past three and a half months. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the girl tells the guy that she’s decided she wants to change her ways and be celibate until marriage. If the guy has stuck around for a straight four months, he’s not in it just for the sex, but that’s quite a bombshell to drop after three and a half months of sex. Ladies, if you put yourself in that guy’s shoes, what would you do? It’s only been four months. There are no rings involved. That’s right, he’d be gone, and the same goes for any other major unilateral changes in the relationship. This could include when you see each other, how you see each other, what things you do together–anything that forms the basis of your relationship. Set the tone within the first two months, or pay for it later.

2. They have overly specific, unrealistic expectations.

If you’re dedicating a significant amount of time to someone, of course you have certain standards about who they are, what they do, and so on. However, people can’t walk into relationships with an arbitrary checklist. This is not grocery shopping, it’s dating a human being. A girl can’t go into a date thinking, “He has to have been in a very specific fraternity chapter at a particularly prestigious college, come from old, Southern money, be 6 foot 6 or taller, work in a stereotypical corporate middle-management position for a well-known company, own shares in a company I recognize, wipe upward, put his pants on right leg first, be left handed, have a penis that hangs to the left instead of the right, have a freckle on his ass, and wear a size 11 shoe.” It doesn’t work that way. A woman may not make it past a first date with any guy using the checklist system. Sound insane? It’s happened to me before. It exists. I’ve been checklisted. If a girl makes it all about what the guy isn’t, it’s not going to happen. Period.

3. They’re self-centered.

Self-centered women stay single. Living in a me, me, me world is the quickest way to get dumped. These women need to realize they’re dating now. There are two people in the relationship. He can’t drop everything for her, just like she can’t drop everything for him. If he needs to work late, she shouldn’t give him shit. If it’s his best friend’s birthday and it’s not a major event in the relationship, she should let him go. If there’s not a balance of give and take, she’ll be Facebook stalking his new girlfriend within a month.

4. They’re unpleasant drunks.

Nobody likes a bitchy drunk. If she’s that girl whose every insecurity surfaces when she tries to keep up with the guys on the drink count, she should probably just find her own drinking pace. I’ve seen several relationships end because a girl could not hold her liquor, and almost every night ended in fighting and scream-crying. No one wants to be in a relationship like that. It’s miserable.

5. They have a huge chip on their shoulder.

Whether it be daddy issues, politics, gender issues, or anything else, some girls have huge chips on their shoulders that sabotage every relationship. They accuse guys of talking down to them and being misogynists or they get upset that they are being patronized. They read into everything and link it back to that big, old chip on their shoulder. No one likes someone who is always looking for a problem. It’s not going to happen.

6. They can’t even.

Some girls will break up with a guy over literally inexplicable things. The guy can’t explain it, her friends can’t explain it, and she can’t even explain it. In these cases, the girl says something “just didn’t feel right,” meaning whatever she actually blew up at the guy for was just her trying to find something wrong with him to break things off. It’s just another example of insecurities taking over and sabotaging everything.

7. They’re overly proud of being single.

These are the girls who use the word “single” in their Twitter handles, have blogs called “Single Girl something or other,” or simply wear “single” as a badge of honor. They act like a guy “not being able to handle” them or being a “hot mess” are things to be proud of. They’re not. Does anyone really want to be 50 and single? I mean, really? I highly doubt it’s as fun as Stifler’s mom made it look. If they want to embrace being perpetually single, they should go ahead and embrace being single. There are only a limited number of weddings they can go to and be the “old, fun, single lady.”

8. They’re fucking nuts.

Some girls are just straight up crazy. No matter how hot they are, nothing overshadows real, deeply embedded mental issues.

Email this to a friend

5OClockShadow

"Technically, Pablo Escobar was in sales."

9 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Content

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take PGP with you. Get

New Stories

Load More