1. Society has annoying expectations for us, too.
Probably one of the biggest complaints I’ve heard from women is the burden that societal expectations puts on them. They hate that society (or whoever the fuck counts as “society”) tries to dictate that they get married, be a housewife, have babies, dress and act like a lady, etc. If you are a woman, please do not complain to a guy about “societal expectations.” They will fall on deaf ears. Traditional societal expectations of women are behavioral. No one likes to be told how to act, but I’m pretty sure you’re a big girl and can handle it. Guys, on the other hand, have performance-based expectations to meet. Men are judged on our careers, how much money we have in the bank, and how much power or influence we have. Society expects men to be successful in every part of their life. It’s traditional alpha male gender roles, and it’s why our dads have us competing from the day we can walk. I’m not complaining at all, because I love competing, but it’s no walk in the park. Our level of wealth and power dictates how people in general treat us, what woman we end up with, and how we will be remembered.
2. We’re egomaniacs.
I know, I know, no shit. It’s the extent of our ego that women need to understand. It goes hand in hand with our competitiveness. Everything we do is driven by ego. EVERYTHING. Our careers, our girlfriends, our hobbies, even something as trivial as what sports teams we pick on any given day. A man’s ego is at the core of his being, and it is constantly being tested by competitors and shrewey women. Even the nerdiest, dorkiest looking guy thinks he’s the best at something. If you ladies ever wonder why your boyfriend or husband is doing something totally irrational, it’s most likely tied to his ego. Our ego is our main source of irrationality, even though we men take pride in being the more rational of the two sexes. Look at, for instance, Breaking Bad. Walt refused help from the scores of people who offered it to him. He didn’t want donations, he didn’t want his old friends and business partners to pay for his treatments, and he only wanted the money he earned to be left to his family, nothing more. I can see any guy feeling that way. I can see any guy turning down that money and trying to do it himself. We hate getting help we do not ask for. It’s they way we are, and though pride cometh before our fall, it’s tied so deeply to our nature that it is almost impossible to suck it up.
3. We don’t really have one track minds.
I’d say the most consistent complaint I’ve heard from women about guys is that we have one track minds. All we care about is sex from the girl of the month or whatever, and beyond that we have no interest. That’s not true at all. Men can fall in love. Men aren’t always looking for casual penetration. You can’t look at double entendres and sexual references as motives with guys. You should judge us by our actions. Despite whatever chick flicks show a guy, a “player,” going on some long conquest just to bang a certain girl (and the happy ending is that one special girl converts him), the reality is that I have never met a guy who went through that kind of trouble just to get laid. Does he talk to you every day? Does he try to do things with you other than a late night pump and dump? If you’ve already hooked up, does he still talk to you? Any action that shows he wants an extended interaction with you shows you are not just a hookup. Yeah, very often our behavior will revolve around sex, but ultimately, no guy is going to take you to the park, have dinner with you, take you to the movies, take the time to converse with you on a daily basis, etc., just to get you into bed. That’s too much effort and/or money for a few hours in the sack.
4. We’re possessive.
There is nothing a guy hates more than seeing a girl he used to date with another guy. Even if there’s been closure. Even if we know it’s over. Go back to the egomaniac section. We’re possessive, and once you’ve been our girl, it’s hard for us to accept you are seeing someone else. Over time it may fade, but it’s never fully gone. It’s why we drink heavily when we run into exes.
5. We’re competitive.
Guys will compete over just about anything. Our careers, women, sports, drinking, pool, darts…if it can be turned into a competition, we find it hard to resist. Competition is what drives us to the point of obsession with being the best. Unfortunately, these competitions draw our attention away from the women in our lives and piss off our girlfriends to no end. Women have to understand that these distractions don’t devalue you as a priority in our lives. In fact, you should see a guy’s competitiveness as just the opposite. We want to be a better provider than any other guy, and while younger women get pissed off about it, as you mature you’ll understand our focus on work and other competition makes us superior to our competition, and hopefully you’ll support us in our quest to be the best at everything.
6. We seek our dad’s approval.
If you were lucky, your dad set the benchmark for what constitutes a “man.” He raised us to compete, harped on us our whole lives to get our shit together and be the best. We always looked up to him, and there are few things better than hearing him say he is proud of us. This goes hand in hand with our obsessive competitiveness. That said, dad’s approval of a girlfriend carries as much weight as mom’s, if not more. If his dad likes you, you’re in.
7. Just because you need to water board us to get us to talk about our feelings doesn’t mean we don’t have any.
If you haven’t noticed, guys aren’t really open books. Aside from the occasional mean streak, we don’t express too many emotions. I understand that women want an intimate emotional connection with their boyfriend or husband, but it’s not that easy. Don’t give up on a guy because he won’t sit there and pour out his feelings. If it is that important to you, you’ll have to be persistent and ask the right questions. Ultimately, guys feel that expressing emotions is a waste of time from everything we want to accomplish in life, so we just focus on what needs to be done, and it’s unfair to expect otherwise from us. As long as he expresses that he cares about you, you should consider that a huge step and leave it at that.