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7 Small But Essential Household Appliances

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We spend hours commuting to a shitty job with shitty pay and shitty treatment by shitty coworkers. I think you’ve picked up on what I’m getting at here – work is shitty. But that doesn’t mean everything at home has to be shitty! Through personal experience and talking to others, I’ve come up with a list of some household items that can significantly reduce the shitty-factor of your home life. Not all of them are crazy-cheap, but none of them are crazy-expensive either and can sometimes be found at garage sales, thrift stores, or relatives willing to help you out or simply get rid of it.

1. Crockpot

Eating out gets expensive, but who wants to slave over a stove after a full day of battling bullshit at work? Crockpots are a God-send because you literally throw a bunch of stuff in them in the morning, turn it on, leave, come home at the end of the day, and Voila! Suppertime! They even sell bags in the freezer section at the grocery where someone else has already done the “throwing stuff together” part for you! If you can, be sure to get one where the pot removes from the heating element – makes cleaning it way easier.

2. Toaster Oven

If you live in an apartment or house with a gas stove, not only will a toaster oven save you time it will save you money since electricity is way cheaper than gas. You can buy them big enough to fit a 12” pizza, or a 9×9 baking dish. They heat up faster, cook faster, cost less to operate, and some leftovers turn out way better reheated in toaster ovens as opposed to microwaves. Yes, they do make toast too.

3. Dustbuster

Mom and Dad called unexpectedly and they’ll be stopping by in 15 minutes? Use this bad boy to get all the Doritos crumbs off the furniture and the dust-bunnies out of the corners and it’ll make it seem like you halfway give a damn about whether or not you live in filth. Besides, for little spills, who wants to lug the vacuum out anyway? Isn’t that why your place is filthy in the first place?

4. Clothes Steamer

While a steamer will NOT replace a traditional iron, they are relatively cheap and will help you avoid rolling into work with the “walk of shame” look. As someone who loathes ironing, I used my steamer almost exclusively in college. I have heard stories of people who actually enjoy ironing, but if you’re one of those people… that’s just weird.

5. George Foreman

Pretty self-explanatory, especially if you’re in an apartment and can’t actually grill.

6. Electric Blanket

This is another one for those of us with gas-heated houses/apartments because it lets you turn the heat down a couple more degrees at night and save on your gas bill that way. Another bonus is that if you share a bed, you each have the temp your way thanks to dual controls. Most of the newer ones even have sensors built in now so that if you forget to turn it off, it doesn’t burn electricity all day long while you’re not in bed. The biggest drawback is the inevitable invasion of any pets you have who will want to share the warmth.

7. Space Heater

Again, your electric bill will go up, but in most cases it’s still a helluva lot cheaper than gas these days. The old-school style heaters from your Grandad’s garage that basically look like an overgrown toaster with a side removed are gone – they’re a lot safer these days, i.e. you won’t drunkenly trip over or into it one night and fry yourself. There are lots of different models and styles to choose from. Biggest drawback is that these do suck power and have a tendency to trip circuits or burn fuses, so you probably won’t be able to run a space heater and all the previous appliances at the same time.

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Spaceman Spiff

Now a graduate with a few years of business "experience", Spiff didn't exactly turn into the interplanetary explorer extraordinaire he had hoped to become. Instead, he spends his days as a cynical desk jockey, moonlighting as a Contributing Writer for PGP and marching ever closer to the big 3-0, which has only fueled his transition from quarter-life crisis straight into thrisis.

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