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5 Reasons Why “Friends With Better Lives” Should Be Your New Obsession

EDITOR’S NOTE: Hate to break it to the author, but your favorite show got cancelled after just five episodes.

I rarely recommend television shows to people, especially network ones. Why? Because everyone is a critic. The moment you recommend something that you really like to someone but that person hates it, your credibility as a recommender goes straight out the window. I recommended “House of Cards” before the show actually blew up, and everyone said it was awful. Some of their responses? “It’s so sloooow,” and, “Is that, like, the only persona Kevin Spacey knows how to do?” and, “It’s like ‘American Beauty,’ except he’s a politician and not sucking face with Chris Cooper.” Yap, yap, yap. Now, if there’s a show I like, I keep my damn mouth shut. However, we’re desperate people here, open to anything. Hesitantly, I’d like to give you five good reasons why you should watch “Friends With Better Lives.”

1. The Cast Isn’t Star-Studded, And People We Either Love It Or Hate It

Compressed Friends with Better Lives

“They kind of look like my friends, if my friends were models and not alcoholics.”

Let’s run through the list: James Van Der Beek (Dr. Joe Briggs in the hoouuuuse), Zoe Lister-Jones (double swoon, I’m a sucker for that stare-down semi-slutface), motherfucking E from “Entourage” (who I hate only second to Mr. Mosby–they’re both on my list of Biggest Male Pushovers Ever), Majandra Delfino (Any other State of Georgia fans here?), and Rick Donald (cookie-cutter pretty boy dimwit). Last but not least, there’s Brooklyn Decker. Nope, didn’t stutter there. Which brings me to…

2. Brooklyn Decker

friends-better-lives

“That’s How I Beat Shaq” played in my head when I found that picture.

Two things come to mind when I think about Brooklyn Decker. First, are those real? Second, why would a Sports Illustrated swim model do a sitcom? But really, why does it even matter? Yes, Decker is probably put way too high on a pedestal (lesbihonest, even the ladies can agree) but you would also think that she would stick out like a sore thumb in a primetime show. Weirdly enough, she’s just a typical, blonde character on the show who follows that dipshit Lowell around all day. She’s not even a bad actress, but I’m sure she wasn’t hired for her persona.

3. It’s Surprisingly Crude…And I Do Crude

Friends With Better Lives

Do you like poop jokes? Do you like salty innuendos that would stop and make you say, “Hmm, I didn’t think they could imply that on a network show?” Well, folks, this show is chalk full of it. It’s even better when it’s getting dished to Kevin Connolly. I guess he just didn’t get enough from Drama and Turtle.

4. Zoe Lister-Jones Is The Ideal Female Friend

Game Sext Match

“She’s the kind of chick who’s going to watch Round 2 immediately after Round 1…no water break.”

Let’s be honest–Zoe is a hard six. She can’t help it, but for some reason, in this show, she is hot, hot, hot. She’s also probably the coolest single girl in the world. She is a textbook coldhearted bitch, she drinks like a fish, and everything she says is either sarcastic or filled with contempt. She’s that happy medium between crazy and fantastic. I fell for her in the pilot, and she’ll probably be the reason I still watch if this show bombs in the coming episodes. Kind of like Khalessi with “Game Of Thrones.”

5. This Is Your Life–Admit It

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“Wait…who’s the pregnant one?”

If you take anything from what I’m saying, this show exemplifies what postgrad life is. Yes, it’s set a few more years down the road when we’re 30-somethings, but the characters are everything you expect. Check the roster: a sadistic, single girl, a divorced yet successful guy, a pushover husband, a pregnant friend and wife of said pushover, that closet hottie who you’ve always wanted but she just dates shitty people, and the shitty guy that the previously metioned girl dates. Throw in the occasional random friends, the coworker encounters, and the pitfalls of life. It doesn’t really matter who you relate to in the show–it’s the idea that yes, this is coming. Your future may potentially be a partially-scripted sitcom, or at least very relatable to it. Enjoy it, because we all know life doesn’t get easier until retirement, and that’s a healthy 60 years away at this rate.

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Bogey

Living for the weekend.

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