Girls everywhere start thinking about their weddings from the time their parents start buying them dress up clothes to play with. They dream about gorgeous princess dresses, pretty flowers and churches that look like Cinderella’s castle. Then, during their college years they sign up for Pinterest and suddenly everything changes.
Ladies, don’t get me wrong, Pinterest can be helpful and great. Maybe your florist wants to see what you like in flower color combos, so voila, you’ve created a Pinterest board she can base her work upon. But it’s a flawed system.
It’s a place where uninhibited women allow trends to become trends. Unicorn sweaters. Rainbow leggings. It reminds me of the poofy sleeved in wedding gowns of the ’80s. Those sleeves were trendy. Now they just look dumb. Similarly, the trends you’re pinning on your wedding board might not be the the best in real life.
1. Keyhole-back lace dresses: It’s not that these dresses aren’t pretty, they’re just not pretty on everyone. Some girls lose 20 pounds before their wedding. Still doesn’t mean they should show off their backs. Not to mention the most obvious factor: everyone else has it. You freaked out in high school when another girl wore the same dress as you did to the prom. Having the same wedding dress as a million other people is way worse.
2. Neutral tones: “Which one is Mommy?” Your future kids will ask this sincerely while pointing at a photo of six to eight girls wearing shades of beige and ivory. At a recent wedding event I attended in search of my perfect dress, a bridal consultant mentioned neutral tones were “so in this year.” But I beg all brides to reconsider. This is the 21st century and brides don’t need to wear stark white, but whatever happened to standing out on your special day? Putting the bridesmaids in champagne-colored dresses while you wear alabaster doesn’t make you look special at all. It just makes you look like another bridesmaid.
3. Cowboy boots/country weddings: Juliet owned a pair of pink cowgirl boots when she was four and has not worn them since. She once went to a ranch with her friends on a Girl Scout camp out, but after being bitten by bugs and falling off the horse on the trail ride has not cared to go to one since. Suddenly, Juliet is posting her bridal portraits and looks like she’s changed her mind. The boots are back and she’s leaning on a tree with a Longhorn in the background. Did we mention Juliet is from New York City? Let’s be real, if you weren’t raised on a farm, don’t plan your wedding around one. Don’t get married in a barn. Don’t wear boots. Don’t make the groomsmen where cowboy hats. If you do, you’re just confusing your friends and making yourself look like a wanna-be Dixie Chick.
4. Engagement photos using signs: a picture paints a thousand words, but for those people who can’t get the picture from the picture, chalkboards scrawled with “we’re getting hitched!” and other dumb phrases can be employed. These were cute for a hot second, but I have two eyes in my face and can see a photo of two people holding hands and kissing. The girl has a big shiny diamond on her finger. I think I can guess you’re getting married and don’t need a mini chalkboard or cardboard cutout telling me so. Bonus hate for people who hang signs with their wedding date on their dog or cat or make their child hold the sign. Is your pet/kid the one “getting hitched”? No. Your pet especially doesn’t know you’re engaged and definitely didn’t make that DIY sign, so don’t try to convince me otherwise.
5. Excessive crafting: I actually know a girl who spent so much time crafting for her wedding that she left out the important things like, oh, you know, feeding people and making sure people had an actual place at the table to eat the hors d’oeuvres the event managers were able to scrounge up for the people she forgot to feed. If this happens to you, I think your priorities might be in the wrong place. Sure, it’s great to DIY what you can, but when it comes to planning the perfect day, remember that success doesn’t rely upon whether or not you glitter a cardboard “MRS.” sign for the back of your chair on the big day.