Look at that paycheck! You’re out here grinding, and all that average to below average effort you put in at work has earned you some disposable income. What are you going to do with it? Invest? If you mean invest in nicer shit for your studio apartment, then yes you should invest. You’re a grown ass man and you deserve to step up your game. Some things are worth splurging on and here are five incredibly random things that fit the bill:
Go for it kid, you deserve it! You spend 40 hours a week in the office and almost 15 of those hours doing actual work. You deserve to go home to a comfy-ass bed with 2000-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. You’re also an adult, so if you are still using jersey sheets then I’m going to need you to leave work early today, see a therapist, and then go buy some new goddamn sheets, you man-child.
I’m sure you’ve noticed by now, but work will get you tired and it will get your friends tired. Odds are you’re spending a lot of weeknights sitting on the couch. No need to have that couch you got for your college house from Goodwill that may or may not have been pissed on by upwards of 47 people. Head on out there and snag yourself a nice couch. Doesn’t matter how much it costs. That’s what credit cards are for.
There have been a couple Pandora articles thrown out there, but you know what’s better than picking a great Pandora station? Having access to any damn song you please. Throw down that $10 a month and listen to what you want to listen to, not what Pandora thinks you want to listen to. Why? Because you’re an American and you don’t let anybody tell you what to do.
Circling back to the extensive amount of time you spend by yourself in your garbage apartment, we land on Netflix. What a great investment this is. You want to watch Tommy Boy? Go for it. You want to throw it back to the glory days and watch Kelly Kapowski be super hot? It’s all at your fingertips.
Why not your whole wardrobe? Are you kidding me? Look at all the other shit I just told you to buy. Do you think you still have money to get a whole new wardrobe? You don’t, but you can become the man buy having a ton of awesome socks. You’ll never feel too bad about splurging on socks, but the commentary from your coworkers about you having the best sock game in the league is always a great way to start the day.
You could also not get any of this stuff and probably be just as happy. But seriously, get new sheets. You’re an adult.