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37 Realistic Wedding Hashtags

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There’s a current trend that’s plaguing everyone’s weddings. No, it’s not the staggering divorce rate. It’s not the extortive nature of the wedding industry. It’s not the fact that the concept of weddings are really just single shaming disguised as a celebration of love. No. It’s wedding hashtags.

Some wedding planner out there decided that a wedding-specific hashtag was the best way to define a holy union. Something that was created to help people conveniently find blurry iOS pictures on social media has gotten out of control. This trend has grabbed wedding season by the seeds and is refusing to let go. They’re tacky, forced, and no one likes them. Let’s be more realistic about what we’re really celebrating when two people get married.

  1. #SheSettled
  2. #SucksToBeSingle
  3. #HesLoaded
  4. #MomSaidDontDoIt
  5. #HeAlreadyCheatedTwice
  6. #2YearsTops
  7. #WelcomeToOurWedding
  8. #ThisWeddingCostMoreThanYourAnnualSalary
  9. #OneGiantClichéAfterAnother
  10. #WeFoughtAllTheTimeInCollegeSoYeahLetsTotallyGetMarried
  11. #WhyIsThisWeddingInABarn
  12. #SurpriseGrandmaImPregnant
  13. #EveryoneFindSomethingToDoForFiveHoursWhileWeGoTakePicturesAndGetDrunkOnAPartyBus
  14. #ThisCakeCostMoreThanYourCar
  15. #SheMakesMoreMoneyThanHimButDontBringItUp
  16. #DadHatesGroom
  17. #LuckyInLoveBecauseWeWereBothRunningOutOfTime
  18. #SheBrokeUpWithSomeoneSevenMonthsAgo
  19. #HeCouldJustLiveAloneForeverJerkOffAndBeHappy
  20. #DryWedding
  21. #SomeoneMakeSureHannahIsntCryingInTheBathroom
  22. #WhyIsntAnyoneWearingShoes
  23. #NeitherOfUsAreVirgins
  24. #TheGroomIsWearingCamo
  25. #WeveGotA5050Chance
  26. #ThanksForSpendingAnEntirePaycheckOnAirfareHotelAndGift
  27. #ItsAToaster
  28. #ThisWeddingIsHorseShit
  29. #HeShouldHaveMarriedMeganSheWasCooler
  30. #HoneymoonInHawaiiRealOriginal
  31. #WorstCoupleYouKnowButActLikeYoureHappyForUs
  32. #HourAndAHalfCeremony
  33. #DontGiveUncleHarryAnythingToDrink
  34. #ShouldHavePutADownPaymentOnAHouse
  35. #AlreadyLivingTogetherDontTellOurParents
  36. #IsThisAWeddingOrAWhiteTrashThemedFratParty
  37. #WeGotAllOfOurIdeasFromPinterest

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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

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