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35 Signs You Got White Girl Wasted Last Night

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There is a fine line between being drunk and being wasted. You’re drunk if you’re having a good time, rocking a solid buzz, and goofing off with your friends. You’re wasted if you’re tripping over things that don’t exist and you can’t walk in a straight line without assistance. Beyond that, there is an even finer line–one that exists in the depths of every female. It’s the line between being wasted and being “white girl wasted.”

WGW is a condition of intoxication most often brought on by an “I don’t give a fuck” mentality, and it’s known that your emotional state can contribute to how your body reacts to alcohol. Combine a girl who gives zero fucks with excessive amounts of alcohol and BOOM! White girl wasted.

  1. You spilled your drink on someone and apologized by kissing the person on the mouth.
  2. You told someone, “I seriously love you so much. Seriously.”
  3. You made elaborate drunk plans that you won’t remember tomorrow.
  4. You cut to the front of the bathroom line. Twice.
  5. You made the duck face in multiple photos.
  6. You were convinced every female bartender was being a bitch and intentionally ignoring you.
  7. You made a new BFF with some random in the bathroom.
  8. You secretly hoped Miley Cyrus was right when she sang, “Everyone in line in the bathroom, trying to get a line in the bathroom.”
  9. You got a guy’s number and saved it in your contacts as “DRFKW BAR.”
  10. You peed somewhere you weren’t supposed to.
  11. You rolled both ankles at separate times during the course of the night.
  12. No toilet paper? Fuck it, drip dry.
  13. You gave sex eyes to a guy and it went unreturned.
  14. You insisted on hosting after hours at your place when the bar closed.
  15. Your goal went from finding the hottest guy in the room to finding any guy in the room.
  16. You sent bathroom selfies with the caption “drunk” to 20+ Snapchat contacts.
  17. You pulled the old “puke and rally” and proceeded to tell everyone about it.
  18. Your dance moves were so explicit you should have charged people to watch.
  19. You kissed a girl and seriously contemplated switching teams.
  20. Your friends had to shush you for making rude comments too loud.
  21. You made up fake scenarios about what you thought people around you were talking about.
  22. You walked around with your shoes in your hands for the majority of the night.
  23. You went out with straight hair and woke up with a Medusa-looking hairdo.
  24. You fell asleep at the bar.
  25. You requested the same song to the DJ five times because you were too drunk to remember it already played.
  26. You have to break into your own house because you lost your keys. They were in your purse the whole time.
  27. You asked a stranger for a cigarette. You don’t smoke.
  28. You talked shit to someone who could easily beat you up.
  29. You flashed the skeevy bartender for the promise of a free drink.
  30. You ordered a round of lemon drops. You dry heaved after drinking yours.
  31. You drunk texted an ex.
  32. You called your mom crying. About what? You have no idea.
  33. You thought every girl in the room you didn’t know was giving you a dirty look.
  34. You sent out a tweet that you would regret. You deleted it in the morning.
  35. You went to bed with a full face of makeup and a full head of hair extensions.

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