- It took less than a week for you to show up to your new job with a crippling hangover.
- All of your friends are getting married, and you’re still ordering pizzas at 3 a.m.
- Your sleep schedule still hasn’t adjusted from your last “no classes before noon” semester.
- You’ve calculated the last possible minute you can leave your house to still make it to work on time.
- The last three home-cooked meals you had were Ramen Noodles.
- If you could set your Facebook status to “In a Relationship With: Vodka,” you would.
- The anxiety that checking your bank account gives you takes months off of your life every single time.
- Your first thought before joining a community kickball team is, “Can I get drunk before the games?”
- You regularly find yourself at work thinking “Man, I wish I had an adderall.”
- “Brunch” and “Sunday Funday” are basically the exact same thing to you.
- Fridays are still dedicated to avoiding as much work as you can.
- Your after-work beers are just as glorious as the after-class ones were.
- You completely forgot about your outstanding student loan balance during your grace period.
- You still occasionally leave your credit card at bars.
- When you visit old friends, the conversations always end up being about the “good old days.”
- You can barely keep a fish alive, so kids are completely out of the question.
- Going out on a Monday still doesn’t seem like a terrible idea.
- Snow days still excite you, even though you’re technically supposed to work from home and not just get drunk all day.
- You set it up, but you still have no idea what a 401k is.
- See also: your credit score.
- Your Tinder age range still starts at 18.
- Sober hookups are the most awkward thing in the universe in your mind.
- It still takes five separate alarms and you hit the snooze button three times before getting up in the morning.
- You’ve met multiple new people whose names you’ll never remember.
- The idea of staying in for a whole weekend is completely out of the question.
- Your drinking habits make every little errand as hard as a 14,000 piece puzzle of a cloud.
- Your vacation days are dedicated to revisiting your college town (even though you hardly know anyone who still goes there).
- You still call your parents hoping they can explain what the hell is going on in your life.
- You’re considering getting a master’s degree just so you can have one more spring break.
- You still live by the mantra: “If I can’t remember it, it didn’t happen,” despite the obvious flaws in logic.
- “Taking it easy,” means you’re only going to black out once during the weekend.
- Your older coworkers consider you a terrible influence on their children.
- It took you six months to fully furnish your apartment.
- You’d wear sweatpants to work if you could get away with it.
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